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Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

The Book Club :
Best non-religious books on setting boundaries?

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Threnody (original poster member #1558) posted at 7:33 PM on Saturday, May 21st, 2016

I have a friend in need of a book to help him learn how to set boundaries in his life (parents, friends, co-workers, etc.). This isn't infidelity-related but I know readers here will have the best recommendations from a wide assortment of titles.

Can you please suggest a few titles to me to pass along?

“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

posts: 14329   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2003   ·   location: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
id 7562602
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nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 10:28 PM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2016

Codependent No More. Melodie Beattie

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5731   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 7623479
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latebloomer45 ( member #18021) posted at 4:07 PM on Wednesday, August 3rd, 2016

John Townsend has written a few books called "Boundaries in Marriage, Boundaries in Dating", I am sure there is a general one. While the authors ARE Christian psychologists, they don't shove religion down the reader's throat, but rather talk about how Christians can confuse being a follower of Christ with having no boundaries.

Amazon has high ratings of the books from people who identify as atheists, so I think it's safe to recommend to anyone.

Me: BS 56
Him: FWS 58
Married 32 years
Son-26 Daughter (Who Came out as trans, so now Son)-23,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.

posts: 4697   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Midwest
id 7624033
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Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 3:15 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2016

Ditto the Townsend books. I don't think the religious aspect impacts the message. And I didn't find it to be overtly religious

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

posts: 8410   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Not Oz
id 7624919
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SimplyRed ( member #50332) posted at 1:53 PM on Friday, August 5th, 2016

Another big thumbs up for the Townsend books. I read the basic book and both the one dealing specifically with marriage and another on raising kids. All three were very helpful. They repeated the same message just how it applies specifically to those situations. My SIL had the Beattie book recommended to her early on in her marriage and seemed to like the message and found it useful in identifying codependent relationships but she (they) never went anywhere with it and haven't really progressed or IMO profited relationship wise. If one actually applied the advice I would think there may be different results.

Me~BW
Him-WH
Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

posts: 403   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7625808
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marji ( member #49356) posted at 4:26 AM on Monday, August 15th, 2016

Vicki Tidwell Palmer has a book devoted to boundaries.,it's geared to partners of SAs but I think it's prescriptions could be used by others. Nit at all religious.

posts: 2230   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2015   ·   location: NYC
id 7634500
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waitingwife ( new member #51790) posted at 9:10 PM on Tuesday, January 31st, 2017

I liked Ann Katherine's Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day.

May 2015 - DDay and TT till
March 2016 - DDay 2
Me: Recovering Codependent
Him: Recovering Passive-Aggressive

posts: 46   ·   registered: Feb. 12th, 2016
id 7772551
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demolishedinside ( member #47839) posted at 1:38 PM on Wednesday, February 1st, 2017

Yep. Townsend. I have the marriage one. I think I highlighted the whole book.

BS - me/3 kids
DD - April 2015 / SA-Jan. 28, 2017
DD2- October 23, 2018
Divorced and happy

posts: 2073   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2015
id 7773075
Topic is Sleeping.
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