Topic is Sleeping.
DidntdeserveIt (original poster member #61270) posted at 4:56 AM on Wednesday, December 13th, 2017
I'm about 1/2 way through this book and I like how it breaks down the steps of working through the process..... especially the anger that I have it makes total sense that I can't let go of anger until I feel he has been punished/accepted his consequences. He murdered our marriage so there has to be justice for that offense!
Anyone read/ reading this? Was it helpful?
Married 1997.
Two teen children live w/me FT
DDay 7/17 (ONS)
Divorced 2/18
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 12:59 PM on Wednesday, December 13th, 2017
I am about halfway through as well. I like it, it does speak to the process and allows the blame.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
sewardak ( member #50617) posted at 1:33 PM on Wednesday, December 13th, 2017
"He murdered our marriage so there has to be justice for that offense!"
why justice?
DidntdeserveIt (original poster member #61270) posted at 2:17 PM on Wednesday, December 13th, 2017
Hi sewardak,
Justice because you can't just get away with murder there are consequences for his actions. Like jail takes away the freedom and choices of prisoners. WH will have to lose some freedom and choices for a bit to rebalance the scales that he tipped WAY too far in his favor. He took choices away from me and he doesn't get to go on living his normal life and I just magically arrive at forgiveness.
I use to think time got you to forgiveness but I do realize that if you have the person who injured you in your life then if they accept the blame and consequences (punishment) then you get there faster. Book warns don't get stuck in punishing or blame stage.
And I'm sure punishment should fit the crime. Most of what I feel he should lose are things that add safety to my life. Ex: can't go out of town without me for leisure. Loss of best friend who was there when you cheated. Etc
Married 1997.
Two teen children live w/me FT
DDay 7/17 (ONS)
Divorced 2/18
Minnesota ( member #50615) posted at 10:33 PM on Wednesday, December 13th, 2017
I "Amazoned" this and found four different books by four different authors. Which one?
Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016
DidntdeserveIt (original poster member #61270) posted at 12:57 AM on Thursday, December 14th, 2017
Oh sorry it's the one by Beverly Flanigan
Married 1997.
Two teen children live w/me FT
DDay 7/17 (ONS)
Divorced 2/18
JerseyCowgirl ( member #41441) posted at 11:59 AM on Tuesday, December 26th, 2017
Thank you for recommending this book. It is very good. I had alot of abuse in my life and it is helping me deal with that anger and hurt.
Jersey
Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!
Topic is Sleeping.
