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Newest Member: Plantlady

Divorce/Separation :
Dropped off papers at the courthouse yesterday....

Topic is Sleeping.
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 freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 5:30 PM on Friday, October 15th, 2021

As the title says. They are 90 days behind on judgments which means they will not get to my docs until mid January. My divorce is due to be final mid-February, in my state (CA) it's six months and 1 day from the date the respondent was served.

So because we are not fighting, this will probably not delay my divorce unless some error is found within the papers (which the court clerk looked over before accepting and said it all appears to be in order).

Basically a judge just stamps it, making our marital settlement agreement (the finances and such) to be official, they send us each a copy of that, and then we just wait for the mandatory clock to run out on the 6 months + 1 day.

I was so fucking happy yesterday and I'm still happy today when I think about this is really happening. It's really, really happening.

posts: 1772   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2017
id 8693457
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 3:02 AM on Saturday, October 16th, 2021

FTGN, raising a glass to your final countdown. A friend of mine, also in California, filed oand the 6 months plus a day put her final Divorce on Valentine’s Day. We had a hella girls night!

Hope it goes smoothly for you!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8693555
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 freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 9:59 AM on Saturday, October 16th, 2021

BearlyBreathing thank you!!

Funny enough it was the week after Valentine’s Day in 2017 that he sent me a text meant for her and the affair came to light. I don’t recall the exact date, just that it was the week after Valentine’s.

So my divorce will be final 5 years to the week that I first found out.

I am unrecognizable as to the sad weak helpless overly dependent and codependent and depressed woman I was. I’m so glad now he did this.

My user name here, I did not feel it at the time I created it. I wanted to think well now I’m free when really what I felt was please come back.

And now here we are and life is amazing.

posts: 1772   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2017
id 8693585
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countrydirt ( member #55758) posted at 7:00 PM on Saturday, October 16th, 2021

In Colorado it is a 90 day wait after papers are filed until the divorce is final. If not for the pandemic court backup, my divorce would have been final on the same week as the anniversary. As it turned out, it took an additional 25 days to become final. The actual divorce hearing was anti-climatic - telephone conference with a magistrate judge and over in 5 minutes.

Congratulations to you on making it to the next step!

[This message edited by countrydirt at 7:01 PM, Saturday, October 16th]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 531   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8693628
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YankeeGal ( new member #78558) posted at 7:04 PM on Saturday, October 16th, 2021

"I am unrecognizable as to the sad weak helpless overly dependent and codependent and depressed woman I was. I’m so glad now he did this."

I don’t post much but had to celebrate this with you, especially because of the date significance. It’s amazing how that works out, isn’t it?. One of the things my ex used to threaten me with was that I would be homeless because he would bankrupt himself before giving me any support. Yeah big talker barf Admittedly that ever-present threat "kept me in my place" for seven long years of false R until I finally had enough. Just like you Freetogonow, I was no longer weak or helpless, and was certainly not going to be homeless cause I hired a great big bully of an attorney🤗. I got what was rightfully mine, plus a whole lot more, I invested smartly, and last month I bought a perfectly adorable house. And without even realizing it until after the fact, guess what the official date of escrow was? My exact divorce date! Amazing.

It’s so much more peaceful on this side and I’m thrilled for you that you’re finally experiencing some of that along with the joy and happiness you get from knowing you really never were weak or helpless, you just married a person who made you believe it. Not anymore. Freedom is yours!

posts: 20   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2021   ·   location: California
id 8693630
Topic is Sleeping.
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