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Newest Member: Plantlady

Divorce/Separation :
Food Processors and Boundaries

Topic is Sleeping.
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 squid (original poster member #57624) posted at 12:44 AM on Monday, April 11th, 2022

(posting here because I guess this isn't quite a New Beginnings matter)

Yesterday I finally got around to addressing the garlic powder that had hardened into a nearly single rock inside its bottle due to an improperly closed lid and humidity. I began looking inside my pantry for the smaller of our two food processors which was the perfect size for the amount of garlic that I needed to grind back into powder form. But when I looked on the shelf where I always knew it to be, it wasn't there. I looked all over the rest of the pantry, behind other smaller appliances. I looked all over the rest of the kitchen with mounting frustration.

Then a thought crossed my mind. I turned to my youngest son and asked, "Did mom take the little food processor?" He thought a moment and said, "Yeah, the last time she was here." This would have been a couple of weeks ago when she dropped him off after he stayed at her place for a few days over his spring break.

I'm frustrated by this. The lack of decorum really pissed me off and still does.

A few months after she moved out of the house after our divorce and a couple of weeks before she moved an hour away without telling me she was moving, there was a previous incident. She replaced my kitchen trash can with her old one and put my old one in the garage without telling me. With no explanation. I mean, how weird is that? Who does that?

I never brought up the trash can incident. But after this recent one, I had to text her and tell her to not take anything from the house without first asking and/or telling me. (BECAUSE MAYBE THAT'S THE CONSIDERATE THING TO DO)

mad mad

{{End Vent}}

[This message edited by squid at 12:49 AM, Monday, April 11th]

BH
D-Day 2.19.17
Divorced 12.10.18

This isn’t what any of us signed up for. But it is the hand that we have been dealt. Thus, we must play it.

posts: 2597   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Central Florida
id 8729089
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 1:20 AM on Monday, April 11th, 2022

Can you change locks? If the D is final and the division of assets over, that's theft. If she wanted it, she should have asked.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3899   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8729094
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 3:06 PM on Monday, April 11th, 2022

Correct, that's theft if you are divorced. In fact, it's breaking and entering, I believe, even if she has a key but you did not give her permission to enter your home.

My ex did a handful of things like that. She was really weird about it... and so I will tell you a funny story simply because it's weird.

We had a plastic wheelbarrow type of thing. Not a big deal; we bought it at Costco, I believe. It cost maybe $50, I don't even remember. When we divided our minor material items, she got this wheelbarrow. So, it's hers.

It was kept in a storage garage about 2.5 hours from our home and it was full of twigs, sticks, and other kindling for campfires. We had collected these twigs and sticks the previous fall.

For reasons having nothing to do with my divorce, I would visit this storage garage every 3 or 4 weeks in the winter. On one trip, I noticed that the wheelbarrow was missing. She had driven to this storage locker in the middle of winter to take her own wheelbarrow... and she kept the sticks and twigs too.

People are weird.

Me: Crap, I'm 50 years old. D-Day: August 30, 2016. Two years of false reconciliation. Divorce final: Feb 1, 2021. Re-married: December 3, 2022.

posts: 5419   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8729150
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 4:33 PM on Monday, April 11th, 2022

My ex wasn't much of a cook, I generally cooked anything beyond mac and cheese. Most of the bakeware were mine before we were married. She moved out after DDAy 2 while I was at work. I was muttering for years about stuff I hadn't realized she took after I went to use something that was no longer there. Like my two sets of 3 matched cake pans I used for three layer cakes. I ended up with two of each. As far as I know she never returned to get more though the garage code remains the same. That would have been a step too far

posts: 1622   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8729173
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Decorum ( member #47744) posted at 10:22 AM on Monday, April 25th, 2022

I'm here now.

posts: 74   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2015
id 8731814
Topic is Sleeping.
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