Topic is Sleeping.
number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 4:51 AM on Thursday, July 13th, 2023
As important as our cross-country road trip is, today I conquered something else major. I had not driven on freeways in LA in over three and a half years. About a year after we moved to SoCal, I had panic attacks several times while driving, especially through intersections of major freeways with their on and off ramps. There have been a few times in the last several months I've been tempted to try it again, but as I'd get close to the on ramp (even if an off ramp was only a 1/2 mile away), I'd start to freak. Thankfully, 95% of where I had to drive day-to-day, I could do on surface streets, and the other 5%, H drove.
For the last several weeks, with the move impending, I knew my chances of conquering this were dwindling. And today was the last day as we pulled away from our house. I told H he would have to be very attentive to me, and if I started to panic, he'd have to talk me through getting over to the shoulder, or exiting. I was going to consider it a win if I made it more than three exits. Well, guess what fucking what??? I drove from LA to Las Vegas!!! 275 miles!!! Once we got out of the LA area, and traffic lightened up, it was a piece of cake. Quite a few times I had to talk to myself and tell myself I could do it. It felt amazing!
After our lunch stop in Vegas, H drove because I knew there was a section of I-15 in northwest AZ where you're driving through canyons, with little to no shoulder. It's only about 20-30 minutes, but you really have to be on your game, and I was already getting tired from not sleeping much last night.
We pulled off in a tiny town called Fillmore for the night, and tomorrow have to make it to Jackson, WY, where we have hotel reservations. Friday will be a 'scenic drive' day through the Grand Teton National Park, and Yellowstone National Park. The plan is to stay in Cody, WY Friday night.
Most of all what I will remember about today is conquering a three+ year phobia. (I texted my therapist when I got done driving!!)
Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R
WalkinOnEggshelz ( Administrator #29447) posted at 5:59 AM on Thursday, July 13th, 2023
Hurray for the victory!
Enjoy your road trip and soak in the beauty that this crazy country has to offer.
If you keep asking people to give you the benefit of the doubt, they will eventually start to doubt your benefit.
Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 6:10 AM on Thursday, July 13th, 2023
Cheers!!! I think that's really amazing, and that your H didn't act like mine would probably have is even better! Great start to your New Beginning!!
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:17 AM on Thursday, July 13th, 2023
Nice job! Look at you conquering scary things! Enjoy your trip- your itinerary sounds fun!
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 2:59 PM on Friday, July 14th, 2023
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:57 PM on Friday, July 14th, 2023
Congratulations! That is a major deal!
Enjoy your trip and the scenery.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 8:06 AM on Saturday, July 15th, 2023
Aww… Congratulations! Anytime we’re afraid of something, we just have to go after it!
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 8:58 AM on Saturday, July 15th, 2023
AWESOME!!! Thanks so much for sharing!!
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:23 AM on Sunday, July 16th, 2023
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 11:41 PM on Tuesday, July 18th, 2023
So the conquering of driving continued!
We stayed in Cody, WY after doing Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks. When we left Cody, we had to make our way across Wyoming to get to I-90. H wanted to go one of the slightly longer ways because it would take us through the Bighorn Mountains in eastern WY. He asked me if I'd drive that portion so he could take in the scenery. Well, I knew NOTHING about the Bighorn Mountain range, but I should have gotten a clue when we approached a sign that said steep grades 20 miles ahead. The air was also hazy that day from the wildfire smoke, so those mountains didn't appear before my eyes until we were less than a few miles from the beginning of the uphill.
We started going up, and I soon realized this was going to be some serious mountain driving. By the time we reached the peak, the road was at 9400' elevation!! H just enjoyed looking out the window while my eyes were glued to the road; when we were at the top, there were several miles of meadow and straight roads, so I could look around a little bit, but the scenery was gorgeous, even if we couldn't see more than a few miles off in the distance!
We made it to the Chicago area Sunday night, and drove down into the city today for me to see my old therapist. We exited the Edens at Peterson, and took it over to Lakeshore Drive. The weather was beautiful today. Got to the office early, so had time to walk along the Chicago River. Getting back to the northern burbs took about 50 minutes, so not too bad. Our next challenge will be getting out of town Thursday morning, which means we'll probably have to take 294 around instead of going through downtown. Oh, well.
Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R
whatisloveanyway ( member #66450) posted at 1:12 PM on Thursday, July 20th, 2023
Hooray for conquering your freeway issues. I am very envious of your road trip and know very well the road through the Bighorns you drove - it's a doozy. I spent one of the best summers of my life decades ago at Burgess Junction working at Bear Lodge and camping in the woods. I day dream and night dream of returning to that scenery above the world, and I can almost smell the lodgepole pines. I don't think I am brave enough to drive that road any more. I am also envious of your Chicago visit - my favorite city - I love the lakefront and my kids live there now. I'll be driving up to visit them next month and am already dreading the construction around Louisville and the traffic downtown, but small price to pay to see my favorite people.
I just did my second solo road trip from TN to the east coast and the grind of traffic congestion, construction and accidents plus distracted or aggressive drivers had me screaming a time or two. Hope you don't have to scream at all and the journey continues to go well. Safe travels and enjoy the scenery.
[This message edited by whatisloveanyway at 1:13 PM, Thursday, July 20th]
BW: 64 WH: 64 Both 57 on Dday, M 37 years, 2 grown kids. WH had 9 year A with MOW, 7 month false R, multiple DDays from 2017 - 2022, with five years of trickle truth and lies. I got rid of her with one email. Reconciling, or trying to.
number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 3:03 AM on Friday, July 21st, 2023
We hit the motherlode of all severe weather systems between just east of Cleveland all the way to Buffalo, NY tonight. Two and a half hours of driving rain, high winds, lightning and thunder; so glad we didn't see hail! Been a number of years since we've seen a storm like that. Over half the cars had their hazard lights on - some had pulled over, and most were just going really slow. 447 miles to go tomorrow!
Getting around Chicago from the northern burbs was a nightmare. We avoided I-90 through town because of the construction, and took 294, but there was a horrible wreck involving a bus and car, so we had a backup for 45 minutes to just go six miles. I was driving through it - it took us two hours to get from our starting point to the Indiana state line. By the time I got to hour three, I had to switch because my eyes were so tired.
Hope tomorrow has less traffic headaches!
Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:35 PM on Friday, July 21st, 2023
2 hours via 294 - that's as bad or worse than our trip via I-94 and I-80. All we have to do is wait 5 years. Then we'll have nice roads through Chicago. I'm traveling again in a month, and it'll be a hard choice between I-294 and DuSable-LSD.
I hope today is going well. At least you'll have a tailwind. And it will be good to get to your destination.
Stay safe.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Topic is Sleeping.