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Off Topic :
surprised by liars?

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 6:16 PM on Monday, October 9th, 2023

i I am curious. I have two sisters & We were raised to be exceptionally honest. With the court case that my sisters have brought, Several times they have out and out lied in court proceedings.

has it ever happened to you, that you’ve been somewhere where you assume that people are going to be truthful and they’re not? And how do you feel about that? I am absolutely floored that my sisters would lie. For instance, One said, I still talk to my mother, and she has said XYZ. it is very easy to prove that she does not still talk to our mother because my mother‘s phone was disconnected by our other sister. And she does not call her on my cell phone.

My husband is laughing at me saying what do you mean? You’re surprised they would lie?! Of course they’re going to lie.

I have done this other times as well. My sisters husband, who my mom thinks is behind this whole court case because he wants her money, is not a good person. There were some signs 20 years ago that he was a bad guy. I just took them at face value, I believed how he spun whatever he would tell us that was bad, and, in looking back I’m realizing those are huge red flags and I missed them. When I talk to friends about him, they say I cannot believe you didn’t stop and think twice after he told you this! It seems that I am either very naïve, or miss red flags, I have no idea what.

am i the only one?

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 6:19 PM, Monday, October 9th]

posts: 3839   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8811054
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 8:46 PM on Monday, October 9th, 2023

Normally I would suggest you don’t let things like this bother you. When someone shows you what they really are you should simply be grateful.
However… seeing as this is a court case… If having contact with the mom is an important issue have your attorney ask how she talks to her mom. Phone, computer, in-person… That way it should be easy to counter, and once a judge thinks someone in being dishonest it tends to weaken anything they say.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 12691   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8811070
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 2:57 AM on Tuesday, October 10th, 2023

People lying is just all to common. And infuriating!!!!😡😡😡

I think it’s hard to know at 20 when an older person you trust is lying. I was very gullible at a young age and believed stuff I should not have. But with age and maturity I wised up.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your BIL and sister can lie all they want in court. Just have your evidence ready to disprove everything they say. I am hoping your mom can attend the hearings and weigh in on what is going on.

And that the judge sees that this is an attempt to get her $. And that your mom doesn’t need a nursing home.

So sorry for you - just hang in there. Their days are coming. Real soon.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14221   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8811105
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 Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 3:03 PM on Tuesday, October 10th, 2023

thanks all! yeah, im just floored by my sisters lying! laugh its almost funny how shocked i am when it happens.

i also have adhd and have learned that many adhers have something with a specific name that i cant remember!! that is basically you have a really strong feeling about fairness and justice and get upset if something isnt just or fair.

thinking adhd maaybe has a part in my not understanding why my family would lie? who knows.

and yes, i definitely have all the proof they have lied TO COURT and UNDEROATH.

posts: 3839   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8811126
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 2:44 PM on Friday, October 13th, 2023

Jeez…I must have adhd also. Because lies make me see red!!!

And, of course coming from your family it’s got to staying even more.

I’m just happy that you are in a position to have PROOF of the lies so that you and your mom do not have to be punished for what they are saying.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8234   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8811472
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:03 PM on Friday, October 13th, 2023

The worst part about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth

- Jean-Paul Sartre

For me, it takes me back to the abuse and being made to feel insignificant and invalid.

I was never a good liar because I couldn't remember the details of the lie, and always tripped up. I learned at a young age that I was better off telling the truth. Receiving the same courtesy from others, who were people I should have been able to trust, has not been the same. Wish I could have learned that sooner.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3899   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8811477
Topic is Sleeping.
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