SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

XWW in 2007. Divorced. After several years, found what I thought was the true one. Together 15 years and yesterday got another bombshell. Two relationships in my life, both ending poorly. Been through this once before, so I know what to expect.

I think I am just done with people.

Oh shit Chria... I'm so sorry brother...
We're here for you.

So sorry to hear this Chria, I understand how it feels to totally lose faith in people & relationships, and to be honest perhaps that is the simple reality of how many people are in relationships these days. The only one you can ever 100% rely on is yourself, sad but true! So so sorry again, sending all the support to you 🙌🙌💗💗

So sorry you had to come back. One thing we all learn after infinity is your gut is all you can trust going forward.

Well shit. I'm sorry man. Be kind to you.
Eat, drink protein shakes of you can't, exercise, drink water.

Yes you know what the road ahead looks like but that doesn't make it less sucky.

So take the time to be good to you.

I’m so sorry. I have a bad picker also. Protect yourself and take care of yourself.

I wouldn’t say necessarily a bad picker, 15 years is a good run-these days, when you start to think you chose well.

If I had to go through this shiit again, I think I’d recluse to bumfuck, buy a BLM claim, grow some Tony Beets crazy man beard, write a manifesto, get into Wiccan tree worship and try my luck mining gold.

Hey Chria...

Just checking in on you today. I also want to tell you a story that has deep personal meaning for me.

I was literally just talking about this with cant the other night. She mentioned how when she was divorcing her abusive exH, she had to go through one more meeting with him coming back to her place to pick up the last of his stuff. She was scared... I mean real fuckin' scared for her safety to see him again. Anyway a very dear friend of hers that lived close by offered to be there when he came. When her abusive ex showed up, he started pulling his usual shit, bullying her. It was then that her friend walked through the door from the kitchen and calmly asked "is there a problem here?". He ex's face turned white, he collected his stuff quietly and quickly ran with his tail between his legs. Every time that story is told, her friend grows another inch. I swear to god he must be ten feet tall by now. Dude isn't just a good guy, he's a fucking force.

Anyway - what's the point of all that rambling?
It's simple, my friend.

When Chria gets called, shit's about to get real.

There is good out there in this world, my friend. You can't always see it, but it's there. It exists within every choice we are given and in every action we take. It ain't always easy, but that's why we have each other's backs. No giving up friend - you still have too much yet to give.

So sorry, Chria.

You know you don't deserve this sh*t, it's not you, it's her.

Stayed with my WH, but if he ever went down that path again, I would not tolerate one more second of his crap.

Do what you have to do to stay healthy and spend lots of time with your family and friends.

Two bad apples don't spoil the whole bunch. There are some genuinely good people out there.

Thanks SerJR for the memory with Cant!

The problem for me this time is not necessarily the emotional loss, but the fear. She had lived here longer than me and had a large social circle. I was trying to make a life here with her, actually turning down a dream job in a different state and becoming close to her friends. For the past 15 years, I thought her friends were my friends also. Since she dumped me, not a single one has responded or reached out to me. I am really alone.

I am 63 years old and can't start over. Not only the loss of the local support, but as some of you here know, I am battling two different cancers. I think that is one of the reasons she left; she could not be a compassionate or empathetic during this. I don't have the time nor energy to start over. So, I am scared....and alone.

You’ve got the backing of a whole site of internet strangers by your side if it helps.

Sorry that you had to join us again. Sending you virtual hugs and strength

I know it's scary man. Who wouldn't feel scared and alone considering the circumstances with your health and the recent relationship blowing up? It's a tough situation, and you have every right to feel the way you do. None of this is your fault.

It sucks when we lose not just our spouse, but half our friends and family due to infidelity. Remember though - you're not truly alone, even if it feels that way right now. There are people who care about you - right here and in real life as well. Some might not know what to do, or say, or be giving you space until you reach out to them, but they're there. Don't be afraid to reach out for support, be it from counselors, doctors, or friends and family.

I know it feels intimidating, but you don't have to start over completely. You've built a life for yourself, and it is possible to rebuild and strengthen your social circles, even at 63. It's not starting over, just more of re-aligning for your well-being.

Make your well-being the priority. If you ever feel the need to talk, we're here. You're not alone in facing this, and you will find a way to navigate through this.

Remember - an old lion... well... it's still a fucking lion!

Hey Chria - just checking in to see how you're doing/feeling?

The loss of the "friends" i had it happen 3 times to me and also all the people at my old job. It hurts. Why do people do that anyway? I hung on through painful limbo to try and avoid it again. Not worth it and the end result was the same. Why do they stick with the liars anyway? Can't understand it.

Good people are out there, you won't be alone.

Hi Chria, so sorry for your troubles. I don't know if it is soothing enough, but when you are emotionally devastated like this, every word of comfort goes a long way. There are still some nice people out there. Please cheer up.

Chria - I haven't been reading here in forever and for some reason I checked in today. I know I am a month late, but if I can be of any help please reach out. I'm thinking of you.

There is good out there in this world, my friend. You can't always see it, but it's there. It exists within every choice we are given and in every action we take.

The "good one" is you, Chria…cliche, I know, but the person you are looking for is YOU.

And sometimes this is the gift that life gives us….it leaves us with nothing but ourselves and the opportunity to find what we’ve really been looking for all along. I know it can suck - especially when you are still convinced that what you want is external - but sometimes it’s the only way we can truly discover the truth of this.

Haven’t you already been giving everything you want for yourself to someone else? What if it really is as simple as instead giving it to ourselves?

Don’t be afraid to take this walk in the dark by yourself. Given time, your "eyes" will adjust and you will see wonderful things you have never seen before…things that were hidden from you without this new "gift of sight". All the really good stuff lies on the other side of surrender. You practice it in small steps but you arrive all at once…just keep moving in that direction and a new world will open up. ❤️

Chria, hope you are doing ok. Many old timers here hoping you'll check in with an update. Take good care of yourself.

Trustsetmefree’s post is gold up there.

I can totally understand "giving up on people", but damn it, don’t stop loving yourself.

As Trustsetmefree said above, "you’re The One", you are The One you’re looking for, you’re The One you can always depend on, understand, trust to have your back and, you’re The One you should always forgive and love.

I am so sorry that you are going through this, especially for the second time. 15 years is a long time.

Please know that we are here for you. We know the gut wrenching pain you are experiencing and will be with you every step of the way.

I too know how it feels to lose faith in people. You are not alone.