SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It has been a minute since I posted. Things are going well for me and FWH. Very well. Aside from usual ups and downs of life. We really work together and hold more space for each other than we did pre-A, a little more than 5 years ago now.

When I last posted, I was having difficulty because my beloved sports coach switched to OW’s team. Beloved coach was able to be sure that OW wouldn’t be on the team. We were told that she hadn’t been coached by them in a few years, due to a code of conduct issue. I thought/assumed someone had told the head coach about the A. Nope, she was actually caught cheating in a race. Mind you, these are endurance races. Nobody but the pros are gonna win. So, cheating in these classes is really kind of pointless. You’d just be cheating yourself out of beating yourself in the last best race. Stupid. But, someone who would cheat in a tri just for bragging rights is WHOA!? Next level.

FWH has done all the things. We enjoy and physical and emotional intimacy that is much richer than we had before, I think because he knows himself better and had done the very hard work to help me heal and help us. Not that it really matters at this point, but I really see that she possibly groomed him. And, she was playing for keeps. Which is likely why she was so aggressive with me. IDK, overthinking is my superpower.

Not that it gives me any greater peace. Just interesting. Not excusing FWH’s part in all this, but he’s made amends. She, my former friend, has not.

[This message edited by Ladybugmaam at 11:18 PM, Wednesday, March 20th]

I did a background check on OW.

She had been arrested few times for retail theft in her 20’s.

Stealing something that doesn’t belong to you sounds par for the course.

DUIs, bad checks, a concurrent EA with another coworker while she was trying to poach H. Yeah, OW's a real peach.

OW was actually cheating on WS with someone else… which she justified because "the love of her life, her soul mate" was married.

A dishonest cheater? Florals for spring? Groundbreaking. 🤭

OW has previously had affairs with married men while dating someone. She has had her tires slashed and a history of accusing men of sexual harassment.

Those red flags are all over the place during the A...but those rose colored cheating glasses can't pick them up I guess .

I had read my H's NC message before he sent it to the adultery co-conspirator...and in it he told her that it was ME who made him happy. I thought that was odd to put in there...but he told me how the adultery co-conspirator had told him throughout their time together that ALL she wanted was for HIM to be HAPPY...even if it wasn't with her. He then went on to say that she was just like me because she was sooooo NICE . Yeah right!! I KNEW that was a LIE...but I had no idea how soon that lie would be found out !!

The very next day my H was reading the reply to his NC message...and he got so ANGRY . The adultery co-conspirator wrote a scathing reply that my H was STUPID for thinking that anyone else could make him happy because SHE was the only one who could make him happy . She went on spewing even more vitriol to him about his decision to go NC. He couldn't believe that SHE LIED to him...she was NOT nice at all!!!

Two cheaters...lying to each other...and not realizing they were lying to each other...go figure ! My H has done a complete 180 since then and his character has risen to become the person worthy of being my H . I sincerely hope that the adultery co-conspirator has changed as well. My H was her 3rd A though...so who knows.

[This message edited by Want2BHappyAgain at 2:16 PM, Thursday, March 21st]

OW was a serial cheater.

OW was dating other married guys whilst declaring her undying love for my husband.

OW swore up and down she had his back and would never, ever risk discovery.

She called me when he finally ended it.

T/J. Emergent8 — Florals for spring Great movie line. End of T/J

OW was on affair 8 or 9 and husband #3 and only took jobs that required her to be away from her family during the week to facilitate her cheating. She had two kids at home (from husbands 2 and 3). They always affair down is so true. Even if they look reasonable on paper, they are all garbage inside.

Florals for Spring, Groundbreaking....cracked me up.

My WH's OW had an impressive rap sheet as well. She lost/gave away custody of her children after being convicted of "endangering the physical and emotional health of a child" 15 years ago and hasn't had much involvement in her children's lives since. Has been committed of DUI/DWI on two occasions, drug possession, being a public nuisance,and has countless traffic and parking violations she's never paid and resulted in misdemeanors. She hasn't had an actual job since she graduated high school 25 years ago, has been in and out of halfway houses, was legally obligated to get mental health and substance abuse treatment AND to "take her medications as prescribed". Yep, found all of that on the internet! Not even sure if my WH is even aware...

WOW, hopeful. That's nuts. Shaking my head...."what were they thinking?!?" Oh, right....they weren't.