SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

FWH and I have been traveling quite a lot. We’ve been a foreign country for a bit. I’m nearly fluent in the local language, he is not. My skills have provided us with some fun opportunities that we wouldn’t have had if I didn’t have the skills. Namely, friendships with locals. One customs official in particular, male, ended up inviting us both to he and his wife’s home for Sunday dinner. He practiced his English, I practiced my version of his language. All very, very above board.
FWH has asked me on occasion to ask our new friend specific travel questions….no problem. New friend and I have been messaging about once a week. New friend always sends his regards to FWH…and I to new friend’s wife. Given what I’ve been through, I’m not going anywhere near inappropriate conduct there.

That being said, a few days ago, new friend had messaged just as we were getting ready to head out to dinner. FWH had to wait for a second and was getting impatient. I took an extra 5 minutes to respond to the message and FWH blew up with something along the lines of "it’s not cool to make me wait while you’re messaging other men".

It really stuck in my craw. And brings back something FWH said during the A. "If I wanted an A, I’d have one and you’d never know". He was having one at the time.

We had a chat about it. I understand how it may spark some insecurity on his part, particularly if he doesn’t understand the language I’m messaging in. I made sure that he understood…and showed him everything. There is a small part of me that just wants to say the same back to him….if I wanted an A with new friend, I’d have one and you’d never know. It makes me angry.

BTW…when I’m speaking to locals in this other language in FWH’s presence, I make sure to translate for him or make sure he’s included.

if I wanted an A with new friend, I’d have one and you’d never know

Maybe the needed response to this would be "if I wanted an affair with a new friend, I'd have one and make sure you knew right from the start, so you would be able to make your decisions knowing the truth about what was going on in our marriage, instead of being kept in the dark like I was".