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Newest Member: Traumatizedforever

Reconciliation :
What R looks like

Topic is Sleeping.
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 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 3:35 AM on Saturday, May 11th, 2024

The past couple of years have been really really hard for JM and I, and our families. My daddy passed away, my brother and his family were in a serious car crash that left 2 of them with serious injuries. JM has had 3 major surgeries, 2 psychiatric hospitalizations, 3 months of intensive outpatient treatment and is continuing with EMDR and ketamine treatments. My sister was in a bad wreck and has had post concussion syndrome. I had major foot surgery, colitis, a concussion that put me out of work for 2 months, and have been working 2 jobs through all of that. My brother’s wife was diagnosed with a very aggressive breast cancer last May and is almost done with her targeted infusions. My mom has now been diagnosed with breast cancer and will be having bilateral mastectomy next week.

But through all of that, JM and I are as one. Despite the suffering he’s been dealing with, he finds a way to lift me up every day. We truly enjoy our time together. Our sons are productive, respectful, intelligent men. When I look back at who we were in 2010 leading into 2011, I don’t even recognize those people. We were miserable. We fought. Sometimes viciously (never physically but with our words).

Last month I received a national award for excellence in my job and going above and beyond with compassion and inspiring those around me. JM was able to travel with me and see me receive the award. I’m gonna share a picture from the conference that made me cry when I saw it. Because there is just… pure joy on my face. And love, respect, joy on his.

For us, this is what R looks like.

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4968   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8836234
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Fantastic ( member #84663) posted at 3:40 AM on Saturday, May 11th, 2024

Congratulations on your award and your reconciliation! Enjoy every minute!

posts: 219   ·   registered: Mar. 28th, 2024
id 8836236
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 9:38 AM on Saturday, May 11th, 2024

R looks GOOD on y'all grin !!! Thanks for sharing your story and your picture!! Congratulations too grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6668   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8836245
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Notaboringwife ( member #74302) posted at 1:26 PM on Saturday, May 11th, 2024

I am so happy for you both! Your story and photo put a huge smile in my life. Thank you.

fBW. My scarred heart has an old soul.

posts: 413   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2020
id 8836251
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:19 PM on Saturday, May 11th, 2024

I am very sorry you've had to endure so much. We say life has peaks and valleys. I think we may forget that we can have a peak in one aspect of life and a deep hole in another aspect at the same time.

That's an amazing award to win! Congratulations!

And congratulations to both of you on rebuilding your M.

Best wishes for improved health as time goes on.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30556   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8836261
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HardKnocks ( member #70957) posted at 5:32 PM on Saturday, May 11th, 2024

Congratulations!

BW
Recovered
Reconciled

posts: 561   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2019
id 8836262
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Luna10 ( member #60888) posted at 6:59 PM on Saturday, May 11th, 2024

Congratulations, that picture says it all!

I’m sorry you’ve been through such tough times, life is often unfair, your strength as a couple is shining through in the picture you shared.

Dday - 27th September 2017

posts: 1857   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: UK
id 8836266
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 11:29 PM on Saturday, May 11th, 2024

That’s amazing, and I love the picture. 😍 You both seem wonderful. And congratulations on your award!!

Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 676   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8836279
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 5:59 PM on Sunday, May 12th, 2024

Congratulations on your award!!

Love the picture. You two look so happy!!

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3687   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8836303
Topic is Sleeping.
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