Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: chickenchicken

Off Topic :
Hot flash question (sorry guys)

Topic is Sleeping.
default

 deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 3:19 AM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

In my upper 40s now and trying to figure out when the change will actually occur. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago due to fibroids so I don’t really know where I am at because I obviously don’t bleed anymore. I did keep the ovaries, hence natural menopause to be determined. The only thing I am noticing is, I do get warm here and there, but it is nothing like what I’ve seen with my sisters. They would just turn red head to toe for a couple of minutes. I just noticed I am warmer at times and it might last 20 minutes then I’m fine. This is a new development but it’s been 90° so who knows. I’m trying to figure out if that’s a genuine Hotflash or if I am crazy? I also cry a lot more lately, but that’s just life. I don’t really want to do a hormone test because in all honesty, since the hysterectomy, I don’t need to worry about whether a period is coming or not. I also don’t want hormone replacement if I can avoid it. My mother had breast cancer, but they believe hers was more environmental, but none the last, just being cautious about replacement. Nobody else has had any occurrences, no genetic link at this point they think but still. What else should I watch for?

Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.

posts: 3339   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8845258
default

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:19 AM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

I only had mild hot flashes (thankfully!) and only some moodiness, nothing extreme. For me, my sleep changed for the worse and when I put on weight, it moved to my middle. I do like a fan on at night in the summer - at night is when I feel temperature regulation issues. I stopped having periods around 51, went two years then had a full period (surprise!), and now hopefully it has stopped for good. Oh and I get weird random chin hairs now. Just lovely.

Crossed fingers that you only get mild hot flashes (power surges!). You may be in peri-menopause which can last for years. Good luck!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8845261
default

number4 ( member #62204) posted at 5:12 AM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

If your mother is the only family member who has had breast cancer, then it is likely not genetic. That being said, the BRCA gene is not the only one they can test for. I had genetic counseling and testing because there's a lot of cancer (including breast cancer) in my family. I was negative for BRCA. However, five years after my genetic counseling, I got the breast cancer diagnosis. So go figure.

I will just say this regarding hormones... I have oodles of cited studies given to me by my gynecologist that shows hormones do not cause breast cancer. If you have a hormone-positive breast cancer, then hormones can feed it. So it would be helpful if you knew what kind of breast cancer your mom had - generally the classifications are either estrogen positive/negative and/or progesterone positive/negative, and HER2 negative or positive.

This all being said, there is also much being reported on the benefits of prescribing estrogen and progesterone past menopause. Personally, I went into surgical menopause when I was 54 when I had to have a complete hysterectomy due to endometrial cancer (caught very early so only required surgery... no chemo or radiation). So the day of surgery I was still producing those hormones (although I was in perimenopause), and by the evening I wasn't producing anything to write home about. About three days later I started having horrible hot flashes. It really impacted my sleep, so at my six-week follow-up with my gynecologist, we decided to start some hormones. We started very, very small, using a gel that I applied to my forearm. We increased it over a few months, but it really didn't touch the hot flashes. So eventually about six months post-surgery, he put me on the patch and my life turned around. Over the years I've been able to decrease the dosage to a pretty low amount right now. I still get hot flashes but for the most part, they're manageable and don't interfere with my sleep. The key to my knowing I was having some mild hot flashes was the under boob sweat I'd wake up with in the morning. And then I would occasionally have some very mild 'warm' moments throughout the day. But mine only lasted a few minutes. You might also want to get your thyroid checked.

I would do some research into the benefits of bio-identical estrogen replacement. It's not just about hot flashes. It helps with bone density as we age (but you also need to get enough of the right kind of calcium and vitamin D and lift weights of some kind) to minimize osteoporosis. Estrogen also protects the artery walls and keeps the blood vessels more flexible (also helps with bad cholesterol, although there are always statins you can take); so if heart disease runs in your family, estrogen can help reduce your risks. Look into what a lack of estrogen does to cognitive abilities, skin issues including vaginal dryness (again, you can use a topical for that).

Personally, I have a really high risk of heart disease in my immediate family, so I feel taking a tiny bit of estrogen is something I can do to minimize my risk. My mom had a hysterectomy in her early 40s and had heart disease by the time she was in her mid 50s, having a silent heart attack. She had been a smoker, so that obviously didn't help, but being without estrogen couldn't have helped. One brother had his first stent put in in his late 50s and a second one in his late 70s. Another brother died after his second heart attack in his early 70s.

Also, I do have borderline osteopenia, despite lifting weights since I was 50. I can only imagine what it would be like if I hadn't been taking estrogen since my hysterectomy.

I'm not trying to scare you, but do the research - feel free to PM me if you want to see the bibliography of the studies I have.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1365   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8845264
default

tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 3:00 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

My mom had breast cancer too, only child and her mom died in her 50s. Regardless the studies about HRT and th3 link to breast cancer were flawed.
That said estrogen can help esp short term.
I had mood swings and went through it early due to hyst, even if they leave your ovaries people tend to go into menopause much earlier when they remove your parts.
I did patches for about 18 mos this saved my family. I was a psycho. I also had bad hot flashes. For me a hot flash started in my core and I would get hot all over, and would drip sweat from my hair and forhead. They would last for 20 min or so.
I would soak nightclothes and sheets. It helped a lot.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20288   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8845282
default

 deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 3:13 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

Thank you for the heads up everybody. My sister got back to me as well and I tend to follow her with ailments , etc…and everything, she’s 14 years older than me. She said she ended up doing low-dose? I think what she said. She said it helped, but I have a Gyno appointment for my yearly in like two weeks and I’m just going to ask. I know when I asked her last year, before I ever had anything going on, she said that it would be up to me if I went on anything it just depended on how symptomatic I was. I don’t have the flashes the way my sister had because she would just turn straight red and start stripping for a couple of minutes. Mine are more like warmer half hours. I’ll break out in a little sweat and then all is well again. I don’t have to be doing anything for that to happen. Yesterday it happened an hour and a half after an intense Pilates session, go figure. Mine is more like crying. I have cried all week for absolutely the stupidest things. What the actual heck? Is that even normal?

[This message edited by deena04 at 3:17 PM, Wednesday, August 7th]

Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.

posts: 3339   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8845284
default

BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 8:51 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

I went through menopause simultaneously as my divorce and international relocation. Good times. I didn’t have the level of hot flashes that my friends had and my gynaecologist said that anecdotally she felt that women who were very fit had a much easier time. I go to CrossFit 3-5 times a week. The fact that you had a mild hot flash after an intense Pilates class may indicate this as well. I had a ridiculously easy time through menopause and I’m honestly grateful that I’m done with hormonal fluctuations because I used to get terrible PMS. Tushnurse is right that the science correlating rise in breast cancer and HRT was flawed and caused women who could use it a lot of unnecessary anxiety and fear. I wouldn’t hesitate to get on it if I needed it, especially for emotional symptoms. See your doctor.

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3426   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8845305
default

SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 9:14 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

I had endometrial ablation at 41, which was the absolute best thing EVER. I highly recommend it for anyone who's done having children and who has heavy periods. I never had another period and I couldn't be happier, but it does make it a little harder to tell where you are in the menopause journey. 

Right or wrong, my gut has always been very leery of messing with hormones, so I opted against HRT except for a low dose estrogen cream for vaginal dryness and atrophy.

I think overall my symptoms may have been milder than average. Mood swings and brain fog weren't bad. My sister said she never had any symptoms, she just stopped having a period, so I guess I got lucky genetically.

I had night sweats that soaked the sheets and hot flashes for a few months before I tried a supplement called Relizen, which works great for me. It kept them almost completely at bay. I just stopped taking the Relizen a couple of weeks ago while I was using an antibiotic, because the formula is proprietary and I wasn't sure how it would interact. I haven't resumed taking it and I've only had a couple of very mild warm flashes. I may be almost through the woods. (I'm 56.)

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 9:15 PM, Wednesday, August 7th]

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1544   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8845307
default

 deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 10:31 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

You are all lifesavers. I’m making my list for when I talk to my doctor in a couple weeks for something low-dose and just to see what she has to say in general. My doctor is super OK with traditional meds or taking a more natural route so I’m lucky there. I might be able to get the best of both whether it be a medication or a supplement or whatever. My MD, however, not so much lol. I’m lucky with my Gyno.

Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.

posts: 3339   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8845318
default

number4 ( member #62204) posted at 10:51 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2024

I had endometrial ablation at 41, which was the absolute best thing EVER.

Yea, I had one at 54 and that's when they found my endometrial cancer. I didn't realize that when they do the ablation that they send tissue off for biopsy. So that was a surprise phone call! If I hadn't done the ablation, there's no telling how long it would have been before they caught the cancer.

Regarding the HRT studies with the WHI, the hormones women were prescribed then were made from horse urine, not bio-identical compounds. It really did a disservice to so many women. And it studied women only in an older age group, which in context, are at higher risk for all kinds of things.

It's good you're doing your research before you go to your appt. Most doctor's actually appreciate the thought you bring into the discussion with them. There is no 'one answer fits all' situation with hormones.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1365   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8845322
default

tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:07 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2024

Yeah I had the ablation unfortunately it didn't work for the condition I had. I managed to get whole 4 weeks with no bleeding.
So then had the vag just for my 32 bday. Best gift to myself.

Not sure who said fitness makes a difference. That's bs. My mo. Was a life long exerciser and dancer at 75 could still do a standing heel stretch, never overweight. She had the worst hot stretches of anyone I have ever known and they lasted for years like a decade.

I do believe there is a genetic component.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20288   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8845362
default

josiep ( member #58593) posted at 1:41 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2024

I had horrible, awful hot flashes just like tushnurse. They’d start in my core and it would almost make me crazy because it was so uncomfortable and then my head would sweat, and it would drip down my face and the back of my neck. At least 10X/day.

I took the low-dose Prempro for 22 years. I would periodically quit taking it to see what would happen but until 2 yrs ago, it was just as miserable as it was in the beginning. I don’t have as many hot flashes now, but I don’t sleep well and I do wake up soaked in sweat. The only reason I don’t take them now is because Medicare doesn’t cover the cost so it’s $270 a month. But if I happen to develop a social life, I’d consider the expense worth it.

I also believe the breast cancer and heart damage fears are overdone. And while I realize there’s a genetic factor involved, I’ve been free of heart disease in spite of 35 years of smoking and 22 years of Prempro.

I used to say I’d quit taking HRT when they pried it out of my cold, dead hands. (And if I had an extra $270 a month I’d still be saying it.)

And if your doctor suggests wearing layers so that you can remove one when you get a hot flash, get up and leave because that person is an idiot.

Naturally, this is just my opinion and you have a lot of things to consider about what will be right for you. In my case, if there was a risk involved, I was willing to take it in order to have a life free of the type of hot flashes I got.

BW, was 67; now 74; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017

posts: 3240   ·   registered: May. 5th, 2017
id 8845660
default

number4 ( member #62204) posted at 4:15 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2024

The only reason I don’t take them now is because Medicare doesn’t cover the cost so it’s $270 a month.

Well crap. I hit Medicare age in eight months 🙁.

But we still have our insurance through H's employer so maybe I'll stay on that for a while. He won't be of Medicare age until a year after me.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1365   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8845678
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20241101b 2002-2024 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy