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Reconciliation :
Honesty and Transparency

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 4:30 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

TMI

One thing I have told here before is after Dday and implementing the 180 i always present my best self. That includes farting in front of my W. To this day almost 5 years later, I do not fart or burp in front of my W. Honestly it鈥檚 her loss, she is missing out but things are lost in infidelity.

Rule number one in R is honesty and integrity. We just had a discussion today about a couple of active threads here I was telling her about. I was telling her the bottom line issue is a lack of honesty and transparency.

Well tonight I was in the room alone and let fly. She was outside or something. Comes in immediately and says "OMG did you fart?" I panicked and immediately said "no!!" I lied and tried to TT but it was obvious. I confessed.

She said "isn鈥檛 honesty and transparency number one?" Then said "when are going to confess on SI?

In a fun and lighthearted manner, here I am, confessing. I did it!!! I farted, I lied about it, I feel shame. She forgave me 馃榾

[This message edited by Tanner at 4:32 AM, Tuesday, August 13th]

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3616   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845725
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:54 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

LOL! Great transparency story, Tanner. My mom was one married to a man who didn't know that women farted. She schooled him very well. She had a lactose problem and loved ice cream.

I commend you for your honesty and transparency.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 4023   路   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   路   location: Washington State
id 8845729
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 5:08 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

My mom was one married to a man who didn't know that women farted. She schooled him very well.

I have always said my W is one of the most proper Ladies I know, my Mother is the other one. I don鈥檛 think they do that.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3616   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845731
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BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 8:20 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

Somewhere, a fart signal is going out to notthevictem.

WW/BW

posts: 3676   路   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8845733
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 2:51 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2024

馃槀馃ぃ馃槀

GOOD for MRS.TANNER for holding your feet to the fire Coozann grin !! I am just happy it wasn't while you were "doing the deed" or something could have been caught on fire!!

馃ぃ馃槀馃ぃ

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6668   路   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   路   location: Southeastern United States
id 8845748
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 10:32 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

HAHAHA! This is awesome!

Before DDay, I would never admit that I farted. Now we rate each other for volume and quality. laugh

Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1580   路   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8845855
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hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 11:29 PM on Wednesday, August 14th, 2024

Sometimes you have to let go of the outcome and let 鈥榬e rippppp!!!

I will say that now that we no longer live in our RV there is more space to get away from those stinky situations :-) In a camper you basically Dutch oven anyone who dare enter.

7 years of hard work - WS and BS - Reconciled

posts: 7633   路   registered: Jul. 5th, 2017   路   location: Arizona
id 8845859
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:59 AM on Thursday, August 15th, 2024

One time, my youngest and oldest were watching a movie. DS3 fell asleep in my lap. Oldest DS was on the floor. All of a suddeb, this horrible stench wafted my way. My eyes watered and I was choking, reaching behind me to open the window. Oldest DS was smiling, and youngest woke up crying. "What's that smell?" It was so bad that I remember the smell nearly 25 years later.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 4023   路   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   路   location: Washington State
id 8845889
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 3:51 PM on Thursday, August 15th, 2024

LoL, I have enjoyed all the responses. I do want to add that denying a fart is an instinctual response and does not reflect on a person鈥檚 overall integrity. It鈥檚 a free pass IMO 馃ぃ

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3616   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845919
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 4:01 PM on Thursday, August 15th, 2024

Tanner, out of curiousity, what is the underlying goal or belief of keeping a polished version of yourself front and center? No judgment here, I鈥檓 genuinely curious. You said this is a new reality born out of the affair. What is its purpose for you?

I鈥檒l say that I am now doing far more self care than I ever have before in my life. Shaving more regularly, dressing nicer, added a cologne to my daily hygiene routine, getting fit. Is it in that spirit? I could definitely see the appeal of retaining the mystery in a relationship with things such as flatulents laugh

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2453   路   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8845921
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 11:33 PM on Thursday, August 15th, 2024

Tanner, out of curiousity, what is the underlying goal or belief of keeping a polished version of yourself front and center?

Thanks for asking I have thought about this and the best answer is, when I made positive changes, my life changed for the better. I fixed so much I'm not sure what one thing is working, so I choose to wake up every day and present my best self to everyone.

I give zero credit to infidelity and all the credit to the 180. After Dday 2 my self esteem was shit. I took a hard look at myself and I had let so much of myself and my life get away from me. I was so numb that I only ate because I had to. During this time I tried new food, I cleaned my diet, and started exercising, I split my company and went on my own, I went changed everything, including growing a sweet beard.

I am very proud of where I am today, I look ten years younger and am in the best shape of my life. I don't want to ever go back to pre 180 Tanner, so I continue to maintain my personal standards.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3616   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845969
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 1:23 AM on Friday, August 16th, 2024

Makes sense. Thanks for sharing. Keep on keeping on, brother. 馃槑

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2453   路   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8845980
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 Tanner (original poster guide #72235) posted at 2:23 AM on Friday, August 16th, 2024

Makes sense. Thanks for sharing. Keep on keeping on, brother. 馃槑

What if one day I fart in front of her and suddenly loose all my hair and gain 50 lbs? I can鈥檛 take that chance 馃ぃ馃ぃ馃榾

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3616   路   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   路   location: Texas DFW
id 8845983
Topic is Sleeping.
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