SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Let me be the first BS to remind everyone..

There is no excuse for abuse,in any form.

Cheating is a form of abuse. We would never tell another BS to remain with their WS, if they continued to cheat.

And we shouldn't expect a WS to remain with their BS, if they continue to be abused.

IAT, this is horrible. All of it. You don't deserve it. And I am,as you know, pretty hard on the WS, for a time. I don't give a fuck what you did,at this point. No one deserves to be treated the way he is treating you.

You need to detach. Stop the sex. Stop running his errands. Stop listening to his issues. You are not his wife. He decided it was over, therefore he has fired you from being his wife. Stop trying to be. Stop allowing your shame to allow yourself to be abused.

He is choosing to be abusive. Just as you chose to cheat. His actions are not your fault.

Every BS is in pain. But it is unacceptable to be saying the things he is saying, this far out. This is all on him.

Post here. If he doesn't like it, that's his problem. He no longer dictates your life.

[This message edited by HellFire at 8:22 AM, July 12th (Monday)]

[This message edited by Iamtrash at 3:37 AM, Tuesday, August 24th]

Also, go NC. It's the best thing for both of you.

Or tell him you will only communicate about the kids, through an email you set up specifically for that. It should be about pick ups, drop offs, games,doctor appointments, etc.

When he attempts to engage, don't respond. Walk away, if he does it in person. If he continues, have your attorney set up the pick ups and drop offs at the police station, in the lobby(I had to do that for awhile).

Block him on your phone,unless he has the kids. Set up a specific time, every day, for him to call the kids. Unblock him so he can call, then block him again when the call is over. Hand the kids the phone when it rings,and teach the oldest how to hang up,when the call is over.

Stop being his punching bag. It is the best thing for you, the kids,and for him.

[This message edited by HellFire at 8:31 AM, July 12th (Monday)]

[This message edited by Iamtrash at 3:38 AM, Tuesday, August 24th]

[This message edited by Iamtrash at 3:39 AM, Tuesday, August 24th]

You are both to blame for continuing to participate in a truly toxic relationship and subjecting your innocent children to this vile melodrama.

HM and IAT, if you love your kids even half as much as you love having sex with each other, making each other miserable, and then wallowing in self pity, you will complete the divorce process and stay away from each other.

If HM’s mother is willing, she should continue handle the pick up and drop offs because you two are obviously incapable of having sane or respectful interactions with each other.

[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 9:03 AM, July 12th (Monday)]

FUCKING STOP!!!

BOTH OF YOU ARE VILE AND DISGUSTING AT THIS POINT!!

JUST FUCKING STOP!!!

This is so damn awful. You are actually using this forum to degrade and abuse EACH OTHER!

GET THE FUCK TO A THERAPIST ASAP! I PRAY that your children having caring adults that are willing to step up and protect them because NEITHER of you are doing it.

You are not a victim...you are a participant WHO IS CHOOSING to engage. He is NOT a victim! He is choosing to ENGAGE.

If you don't kill each other you both are completely willing to USE your children as weapons in this sick ass game you both want to play.

This is absolutely DISGUSTING. And I am not speaking as a BS..I am speaking as PARENT.

both of you need serious mental and emotional help. GET IT!

[This message edited by prissy4lyfe at 10:05 AM, July 12th (Monday)]

[This message edited by prissy4lyfe at 4:05 PM, Monday, July 12th]

[This message edited by Iamtrash at 3:38 AM, Tuesday, August 24th]

This is not what this website is for. You need help that SI cannot provide.