Please watch online videos about narcissists. They are super clever. Come in all flavors but there are common traits. Not surprised at all that he wouldn't choose you instantly, mine didn't either. I want you to learn about these because many of us are selected by these types of personalities. You are a tender, trusting, supportive, understanding soul. That is exactly what the N is seeking. Makes you feel amazing and loved and then grooms you to be accepting of what makes it easy to start the life of lies. I don't want you or me to get caught again and trained to accept less and less. The discarding and lies are the worst. Mine was an expert liar and gaslighter. And beautiful too. I thought I had it all. Really, I had nothing but a fantasy. I'm so happy you are free. It will hurt badly but you will heal and grow. Don't think anything about what you did or did not do. I feel 100% that you gave everything you had and would have given more if you could have.
You must use that kind of energy and resolve on yourself now. It's essential. Don't listen to one more word from him. He's a master deceiver. Protect yourself. He'll soon be looking for another to prey on. That's what they do.
Imagine your new life. Please don't fear. Create the kind of life you know will be best for you. The person you need will be drawn to you. Trust yourself. It's hard after you have just gone through a big shock. Everything you believed in, gone in a flash. Then the continued lies....it happened the same to me but it was more women, more lies, more manipulation and emotional neglect. He finally was going to discard me and then tried to reel me back in with love I had been starving for. They hand out love and emotional support like pet treats when required. You and I deserve a real partner. Never settle for less.
Now it's you time. Your dreams, your needs. Whatever brings joy, you do it. Go out and look up at the wonderful sky. Our amazing world. We're so lucky to be here. I want you to have a life free of this pain. You will. I promise. Believe in yourself and good people will draw near.