SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

First - I am sorry you are here. Truly. That pit in your stomach is horrible. Not knowing is terrible and gut wrenching.

Yes this is ultra fishy. Yes I agree it sounds like someone is onto to them and is either threatening to tell or she is afraid they will. But IMO this is not enough to call the boss' wife until you have more evidence.

Check cell phone records for numbers you don't know - it's easy - there will be a LOT more calls/texts to a number or numbers (AP was "smarter" later on - she would get a burner number - not phone but number - and would change it every several days...but when they would send 200+ texts per day it didn't matter how often the number was changed). Check your internet router history. If you can can access her phone check the BATTERY usage (it will tell you what apps have used what % of the batter and how long each app used it - if the numbers do not add up to 100% then an app is likely being deleted daily). Once you know "what" you are looking for the evidence is normally easy to find even if a clean up effort has been undertaken. The battery history for example does not change even when things have been deleted. For example my WH looked me in the eyes and told me he hadn't even opened his text app all day - the phone records and the battery history clearly indicated not only had it been open but he had been using it for several hours.

There are a million other tips/tricks to doing some sleuthing - or you can just set her up and record her while you are gone and catch her "in the act" so to speak.

[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 11:44 PM, Tuesday, October 25th]

she told me joking that you might hear that me and my boss are having an affair, just in case you hear from anyone else

Comon. No one "jokes" about having an affair. This screams cya.

The huge tell is to then give you the ultimatum not to aporoach his wife and possible OBS. If you submit to thus massive attempted manipulation, what then? Are you just going to take it? Live in questioning torment? Rug sweep the whole incident? Its your call, but my advice is this...no way in hell.

Tell her she doesnt get dictate how you react to her bombshell of a "joke". If she doesnt like it, there's the door. Seriously.

Id do exactly what you mentioned. Tell his wife about her "joke" and see what happens.

Do not lay down for this sir. No way, no how.

Good luck.

Sorry you’re here man.

First thing to do is keep quiet with the W, and discretely get some consultations with both divorce lawyers and private investigators, to determine if she is cheating and then what can be done about it legally.

Keep calm, maintain a good diet, skip alcohol, get some fresh air and exercise, and go out with friends (without her) if possible.

And keep talking here if it helps, you need to have some kind of outlet to stay mentally healthy.

ETA…treat it like a secret military operation for now, then if she is cheating simply keep it as a business transaction and work to get the best deal you can.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 3:45 AM, Wednesday, October 26th]

You may want to (discretely) install some hidden security cams (with audio) inside and outside the home, and possibly a VAR in her car to capture audio.

Depending on the ownership of the vehicle and local laws, you may or may not be able to use any damning audio in court, but even if you can’t, it could possibly tell you what you need to know to make more informed decisions in the future.

Trust your gut!

Discreetly hide a voice activated digital recorder in her car.

Put a GPS tracker on her car.

Look at the phone bill to see who she has been texting and calling.