Take a couple of deep, calming breaths and focus on u in, hold it, and breathe out. Bring your focus back to you. Your thoughts start wanderkng? That's ok, but bring your thoughts back to you.
Do a grounding exercise. Acknowledge 5 things you see around you, then 4 things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste.
Another member would mentally make a salad. Wash and chop the lettuce, chop various veggies, add toppings, etc.
I was a total mess the first year. It's ok to not be ok. Take time to show love and compassion to yourself at this time. This is the worst pain imaginable and navigating through the Healing process doesn't happen within a month or two.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21