SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This treatment will last as long as you stick around for it. What are you getting out of this "relationship?" Sounds like you'd be happier and better off alone. At least you won't be mistreated.

@this0is0fine, so how to step out of it?

@StillLivin, well we are together for thirty years, we have (grown )children and a life we build together. Im fifty tree now. Probably im codependent. I have been trying to grow up emotionally and to be there for my children.

I have been separated from her in the past because of some travelling. And i always yearned to be with her again.

I have my issues, so if she use these as an argument for her case... I do acknowledge that people could misunderstand my intentions.

You have to be willing to choose to leave if she won't be a devoted wife.

"You can date your boyfriend, but not as my wife."

[This message edited by This0is0Fine at 4:03 PM, Saturday, November 9th]

My wife has another, he is a married man and in most or every aspect better than me: richer, higher educated, emotionally available to his kids, looks, maturity and so on.

I'd like to know if this wonderful guy's wife knows that he's having an affair with your wife? Don't ask your wife this question, but directly contact his wife and ask if she is aware he is having an affair with your wife. I believe that for most women all those adjectives that you used to describe him will mean nothing if they find out he has betrayed them and has been dishonest and unfaithful.

Again: Does his wife know what is going on in her marriage?

Hi Karel,

How are you going?
Has your wife made a decision yet?

We are here to support you,
Regards,
FAWH

When she doesn't make a decision, that IS the decision, and it's not you.

Do not ask an abusive person to be nice. You demand they stop being an abuser, and change themselves fundamentally, and if she fights you or hesitates to change, you must bring immediate consequences. If you demonstrate you are willing to be walked upon, you will only ever be walked upon.

Do not ask a wayward to behave better, when they have demonstrated their desire and nature to be the opposite. If your WW wishes to go make herself part of a rich man's harem, cut her loose from your life, you deserve --you have EARNED-- far better treatment. Your children deserve a far better role model. She will be used and abandoned, and that is not your problem anymore.

Memory problems? Carry a notebook everywhere and write things down. Write down daily checklists to accomplish for yourself and even things you want to think about or remember. You'll find that writing things down helps seal them in your memory. And I do mean writing - typing things on a tablet or phone doesn't have the same effect. Don't be harsh to yourself by comparing your memory to everyone around you. I have a magic memory with perfect recall of many, many moments of life, and I still forget day-to-day stuff that isn't interesting enough for my brain to catalog. Figure out how to work around your difficulties in order to tackle life's problems -- don't use those difficulties as an excuse to stop handling everything you need to handle.

The way you describe your situation isn't Reconciliation at all. If your adulterous wife isn't begging for reconciliation and if she's not willing to do anything and make any change to reconcile with you, she's not even worth being around.

$0.02 delivered.

-Mindjob