Thanks DD,
I'll take the book recommends as there is always something to learn and absorb, she'll read them as part of her self care & path of forgiveness to herself, she's doing more of that now as part of recovery. I appreciate the explanations too as a WS, with experience. I like the pig analogy, it's hard for me to not feel sorry for the POSOM, he's broken and OBS must be having a hard life with him, for now.
One more thing, last night as we discussed our days and that she felt safe at work until she leaves, the conversation came around to her A again and she said (boasted?) that AP "lost her as the prize, he'll never get a woman like me ever!". I sat with this and realised she may still have self-doubt and lack of self-worth. It makes me think she still needs validation of sorts or belief that she is enough, an emotionally traumatic childhood creeping into her head once more. One to watch and ponder.
I do take what I need and leave the rest, I consider on SI all opinions are valid due to our own betrayal stories, our own hurt and life journeys whether WS or BS. Every day is a school day on here and the posts encourage self-reflection and to be patient.
Be well
Salty
