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Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

General :
Traumatic bonding

Topic is Sleeping.
default

sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:30 PM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2024

I already know in my gut what is true and what is not true. My gut NEVER steers me wrong. I don't need to see what this study or that person with a PhD says. Many of these authors are just trying to sell books anyway.

Look, it's really important to distinguish between what one believes and what one knows. Turning a belief into a fact is sloppy thinking and opens the person up to danger. There isn't much danger in turning this specific belief into a fact, but the sloppiness can affect issues where pushing one's belief can get one into deep trouble.

Show me a BH "regretful" about D'ing his WW and I will show you a BH who still has not figured out how much better off he can be without a woman who cheated on him!

That's never been an issue. I have no doubt that some BHes regret D, and some correctly think it was a great move for them.

It's not the action that counts. It's how one does the action. D is a personal decision. The people who do well after being betrayed are the ones who look deep inside and realize that what other people did is irrelevant to their decision - what's important is choosing what's best for themself.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 3:31 PM, Wednesday, June 5th]

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30417   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8838628
Topic is Sleeping.
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