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General :
What would SI do?

Topic is Sleeping.
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 9:51 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2024

He's very clearly inappropriate with her,in front of BFF. And, in front of other people,because they've picked up on it.

If he's that obvious with people around, he's been just as inappropriate when they're alone.


Julie is in the wrong as well. Kids sometimes do the wrong thing. That doesn't mean she isn't a complete victim here. 16 is very young. Old enough to know better, but too young to truly understand their own actions, and just how incredibly vile his actions are. But he, as a 60 year old fully grown man? He does know. I don't care how goofy,or socially awkward he may be. He's halfway intelligent. He knows.

I would also file. I couldn't be married to a man who thought this was ok. I would be scared for my grand babies. I wouldn't trust him around them.

Something that I'm not sure has been mentioned..another very good reason to file? 16 year Olds constantly text,call,communicate via apps,etc. They also know how to hide things on the phone, so that BFF didn't see any inappropriate pics, doesn't mean they aren't there. And messages. He may delete his..but I'd bet she hasn't deleted their communication,the apps,etc. She may have irrefutable evidence of his intentions,and actions. If I were BFF, I wouldn't stick around for the legal fallout. Especially since she has had one foot out there door for awhile.

I mentioned cameras earlier. However, the more I think about it, why bother? She's seen enough,with her own eyes, further evidence that he's being inappropriate with a minor isn't needed.

Also..the period blood,in the bathing suit? Her asking him is so incredibly inappropriate, that my heart hurts for her. She's so incredibly damaged, and in need of help. sad

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6812   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8842449
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KitchenDepth5551 ( member #83934) posted at 10:30 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2024

Sacred Soul,

I feel like your BFF has a good soul, and this is a difficult situation. Her general instinct to talk to her husband first and then the young ladies is something I can understand at its intentions. The situation has gone past that, and the young woman and siblings are not really under her control.

It isn't ideal, but it's necessary to deal with the immediate situation and the husband. The lessons for the young women have to be secondary in this.

posts: 94   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2023
id 8842453
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 SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 11:01 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024

They have an appt this afternoon with a family counselor. He's been resistant in the past, but something that happened this weekend might make him pay attention.

BFF was talking with a friend and pulled up his texts to show her something. Somehow, she accidentally recorded 18 minutes of the convo with her friend and texted it to him as a voice file. look She's not sure exactly what was said, because iPhones delete voice files after two minutes, but she knows she was talking about divorce, and how she doesn't think she can find love for him again. She's said a few times that she hates him.

He's sad about it. Says he thought their marriage was pretty good, and he doesn't want a divorce. rolleyes

It will be interesting to see what happens in counseling tonight.

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1544   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8842754
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 12:48 AM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2024

Ooops, I know it was a private conversation but hopefully a wake up call for him. He was definitely inappropriate with Julie and needs work on what is broken in him.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3600   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8842761
Topic is Sleeping.
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