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So my final session of IC has taken place and I'm now left alone once again, I now have to see how the skills learnt can now help..

One thing I discussed was my reaction to my BS and why I've previously knee jerked and lied or have had the reactions I've had to certain events.

Her response (she is a clinical psychologist) was that I am suffering from trauma and that I am depressed which results in me retreating into my safe space and going to a comfy place where I am trying to control the situation (i am in a job where I have to be in control and take the reigns often with life and death consequences) I've really struggled to recall recently anything to do with the affair, and I'm talking anything. My BS still wants me to bring her anything which I can recall but it's as I say a real struggle as I simply can't allow my brain to reach that point.

Several weeks ago this wasn't a problem and I found myself in a good place but then two horrific incidents (hanging in front of me and a fatal road accident first on and doing cpr) resulted in me having a total memory loss which I'm struggling to really regain I believe due to the amount of anxiety I feel at home right now.

I have always shunned meds because of the side effects and how they may leave me feeling, so I have discovered a machine called Flow and just wondered if anyine has any experience in then.... They aren't cheap but they don't have negative side effects and frankly that Can only be a good thing.

Also has anyone else any tips that may help with recall. My IC and I really focused on my responses and how to deal with certain situations at home.... Never managed to get around to the recall aspect

[This message edited by Tinytim1980 at 11:56 PM, Wednesday, July 16th]

Why are you at the final session with IC? Is it a financial issue?

I can’t imagine having that kind of job. I hope your employer could extend IC to help you deal with on the job trauma and the things your brain does to deal with it.

I did not have memory issues and I don’t feel qualified to offer specific advice, but I believe the brain works hard to protect itself, so perhaps your memory would do better if you didn’t think sharing the memories would have outsized consequences (which is of course not true - your wife may decide to leave or may be profoundly hurt). Perhaps a different route would be to know that the truth is the only firm foundation for a life with living - if you believed that with all your heart, you would chase the truth down using everything at your disposal.

I don’t have great answers for this particular problem - I hope someone else comes along with better ones.

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