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15 years out (don't read if you are looking for an uplifting story)
Well, it is now 15 years since DD#2, and I find myself checking-out the forums as I seem to do this time of year every year. The changing colors and longer days never fail to trigger, and then I feel compelled to read through some of the recent SI posts looking for I-don't-know-what. Typically, 20-30 minutes of reading suffices, and I move on (still triggered, but not ruminating excessively). This year, however, my WW is traveling for work (as she was when her affair began), and my anxiety levels are through the roof.
I've always felt a bit remedial where recovery is concerned, but I was content, recognizing that each year was easier than the year before. This week, however, I'm beginning to wonder whether "remedial" is too generous. It seems like everyone posting with 10+ years of recovery behind them is in a much better place. Is it that unusual to be this far out without feeling fully healed? I used to be happy-go-lucky and RIDICULOUSLY trusting. Now, my personality is closer to dour, and I silently question everything I hear. Am I just an extreme outlier?
7 comments posted: Wednesday, October 15th, 2025
