Negative post - avoid if you need to

10 years post affair and I am trapped. I feel just as bad about what happened on DDay, if not worse. He has done (mostly) all he can to try and rebuild our marriage. I have tried too. It’s just the level of harm that was caused is too great for me to ever overcome. I don’t trust him. I will never trust him. He goes to the gym 3 times a week and has friends there, both male and female and I’m waiting any day for him to come home and deliver the bombshell like he did in Oct 2014, telling me he has fallen in love with some young girl. I have tried therapy, hobbies, detaching etc and nothing helps me. I love my family life, my home, I work with WH in our family business and life is wonderful, apart from the one flaw, that my WH hurt me more than anyone in my entire life (and this is coming from a SA child who lost her dad when she was a baby)
I have no means of leaving and setting up a new life. And in fact, I think I would be even more unhappy. I’m a prisoner in my own marriage and body. Death is the only way out and I wouldn’t do that on my family. I look back and believe my life was over on DDay. I have inherited a heart condition from my dad (which killed him in his 20s) and now feel that even in ill health or death, I don’t trust my husband to have my best interests.
Just putting it out into the world how I feel.
Sorry for the negativity but in all honestly, some people like myself are not cut out for reconciliation. I’ve just too many foo issues to believe that WH made a mistake and won’t make it again.

8 comments posted: Wednesday, October 30th, 2024

OHs best friend 50 has left wife and took up with 25 yr old

This has really affected me and I am so down about it all. My OHs best friend also happens to be my cousin. I loved his wife so much and I am gutted that it has transpired he was seeing this OW for two years of their 15 yr marriage and eventually left her for the OW. My husband has met the OW and remains the loyal friend. They have just bought a new home together. His STBXW was so mentally ill when it came out. But has now moved on. I am still raging. I can’t imagine ever having a civil relationship with this woman who happens to be same age as my daughter. I am just disgusted. Are men that weak? Everywhere I turn, it’s the same old story. I honestly think men just can’t help themselves. And any who say they wouldn’t leave their families for a woman half their age who happens to be very attractive with very big breasts and Botox lips etc , only say that as they haven’t had the opportunity yet. That if they were offered it on a place like this guy was, that they would all be at it. Sorry to the guys who truly believe they are not capable of this. I just feel so untrustworthy of men full stop. Rant over

14 comments posted: Saturday, June 22nd, 2024