Feeling like I’m gonna sabotage everything

Hey everyone,

I followed up a few weeks ago, after being absent for a while. I mentioned that I met someone wonderful, and this person is still wonderful, but I feel like I may be suffering from PTSD. I feel like I’m not capable of trusting her fully, even though, I believe, unfounded.

She is still friends with what appears to be a very needy ex, and a friendship with a person that she mentors, who also appears to be very needy. I think the mentee has a crush on her. Anyway, I know that she is a very nurturing and loyal person, and she constantly shows me, and tells me that she loves me, and wants only me. She even surprised me with a ring for Christmas, which I’m not sure I’m ready for. On the surface, she does and says everything right. But, every text and every phone call she gets, triggers me, and makes me feel like there’s something I don’t know,

Am I so damaged that I’ll never fully trust her, or anyone? Am I always going to be suspicious? I don’t want to drive her away with my insecurities. Or, do I actually have something to be concerned about? Whether it’s ultimately her or not, I don’t want to always be this way. I want to fully trust and believe in someone, with no doubts. Will it ever happen?

11 comments posted: Sunday, December 27th, 2020

I feel like what my ex did, is affecting my new relations

I don’t know, but maybe It’s too soon to be dating.

So, here’s my story. My divorce is almost final. It’s been exactly a year when I found out my WW cheated on me. We separated immediately, and I filed for divorce, as soon as the six months waiting period was over. The divorce is almost final, It was delayed, due to COVID, and things being backed up in court. Anyway, I met somebody this past June, the end of June to be exact. Things are going incredibly well. This person is exact opposite of my WW. She’s extremely transparent, and we discuss everything. She has told me that she has stopped casual dating since she met me, because she wants to be with me, and only me. Here’s my thing. Can someone actually still be friends with their exes, and it be innocent? I guess because of what I went through, I am struggling with the fact that she remains friends, with her exes, and communicates with them. Sometimes, I get very insecure, and paranoid, when I see her texting, and assume that she is still seeing someone else, or still dealing with her exes. Like I said, she has been nothing more than transparent, and honest, and we spend all of our free time together. We have even planned a few trips next few months. Is it me, Am I not giving this person a chance, because of what my ex did? Is it possible that she has been completely honest with me, and everything she’s doing is innocent, or are there potential red flags here? I don’t want to blow this, because she is an amazing person. It’s just that I have a very unsettling feeling in my gut, and I hate for the reason to be that I’m holding past transgressions of my ex, against her

13 comments posted: Friday, September 18th, 2020