4 months since Dday, zero physical contact...& 25 year anniversary coming up

It's been 4 months since my wife discovered my affair. Since then I've been living in the guest bedroom, thankfully "in secret" from our three kids; originally she wanted a divorce & may still want one now. We did have one online couples therapy session, which was productive & have one in two weeks. We get along fine living together, but her main hurdle is she can't even think about ever being physical with me again, even holding hands. I'm doing everything a WS can do, & don't push her, although I have asked to hug her on several occasions which she has politely declined. I do tell her I love her, which she doesn't respond (who can blame her). Is the no contact of any kind a major concern, or is 4 months still pretty "fresh". Also, should I pump the breaks on the "I love you's"?

Also, our 25th anniversary is this coming up before our 2nd couples therapy appointment; we haven't talked about it yet...would anyone have any advice on how to deal with the upcoming milestone anniversary? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

42 comments posted: Tuesday, October 25th, 2022

3 months since Dday, zero physical contact...& 25 year anniversary coming up

It's been 4 months since my wife discovered my affair. Since then I've been living in the guest bedroom, thankfully "in secret" from our three kids; originally she wanted a divorce & may still want one now. We did have one online couples therapy session, which was productive & have one in two weeks. We get along fine living together, but her main hurdle is she can't even think about ever being physical with me again, even holding hands. I'm doing everything a WS can do, & don't push her, although I have asked to hug her on several occasions which she has politely declined. I do tell her I love her, which she doesn't respond (who can blame her). Is the no contact of any kind a major concern, or is 4 months still pretty "fresh". Also, should I pump the breaks on the "I love you's"?

Also, our 25th anniversary is this coming up before our 2nd couples therapy appointment; we haven't talked about it yet...would anyone have any advice on how to deal with the upcoming milestone anniversary? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

1 comment posted: Sunday, October 23rd, 2022