Plane of Lethal Flatness

I’ve seen this term on here, but I haven’t really paid attention to it. I did some reading on this yesterday because it feels like I’ve hit this stage. I’m 20 months out. Some questions:

Does this also happen to WSs?
Does this phase usually hit before the Acceptance stage or after?
How long did it last for you?

8 comments posted: Wednesday, August 28th, 2024

Var question

So, I've been thinking about getting a VAR for WH's truck. Before I start researching them, are they easily discoverable in a vehicle? This is someone who cleans/vaccuums his truck often. The kids sit in the back. Where in a vehicle did you successfully hide yours?

6 comments posted: Wednesday, August 21st, 2024

Anyone watch The Affair on Prime?

I seem to be obsessed with this show. I’m the BS, 18 mos out. Trying to reconcile. I was in a very dark place this whole time until a couple of weeks ago. What is wrong with me that I am into a show where everyone cheats on everyone? I watch it on my phone with AirPods so my family doesn’t know I’m watching it.

3 comments posted: Monday, June 24th, 2024

Can we talk revenge affairs?

I’m not saying I will do this, but I think about it a lot. I met WH in college and he’s the only one I’ve been with. I was always ok with that and never cheated when I had opportunities. WH had several partners during the time he was cheating on me and I’m struggling with the injustice of it. I often wonder if having an affair will make it hurt less. I’m 16 months out.

BS’s - if you had a revenge affair did it help lessen your pain? Or did you feel worse because you gave up your integrity?

WS’s - if your BS had a revenge affair, did you feel less guilty about your cheating?

18 comments posted: Saturday, May 18th, 2024

OW - inappropriate content on social media

I know I shouldn’t but I was looking at OW’s social media pages and saw that she has nude pics of herself posted in an effort to draw people to her only fans page. Would you report these posts? They were posted a month ago. Yes, I know I should not be looking at her pages. I can’t help it.

7 comments posted: Thursday, January 4th, 2024

Question about OnlyFans

Kind of an odd question - is there a way to find out how long ago someone started creating/posting content on onlyfans for subscribers to view? Could I get this info without actually subscribing to the person’s page?

3 comments posted: Wednesday, January 3rd, 2024

1st anniversary of d-day

What did you do on the 1st anniversary of d-day? My d-day is in 3 weeks…..right before xmas (OW reached out to me). Great timing, right? I really don’t know how I got through xmas last year. I was in shock, I guess that’s how I muddled through it. I have been feeling strong the last couple of months, but since Thanksgiving I feel like there’s a huge weight on me. I feel defeated. I know it’s because d-day is coming up.

1 comment posted: Tuesday, November 28th, 2023

Living arrangement

Has anyone explored a living arrangement where each person does their own thing (dating wise), and you live like room mates? Our strength is co-parenting our newly-turned-teens. Kids have no idea about our struggles. We are trying to make it work but it’s not working for me. I’ll never trust him again but I don’t want to D for several reasons. Wondering if people ever live this way for the sake of the kids.

5 comments posted: Sunday, November 26th, 2023

Obsessed with knowing the details

I want to know all the details of WH’s sexual encounters. There were 2 women that he used as booty calls. Sexted with one of them. They were both half my age. I’m obsessed with the details and want to know everything. Is this a bad idea?

21 comments posted: Wednesday, January 18th, 2023

Too soon to post in this group?

First time posting. Feels like everyone starts off on the Just Found Out page, but I'm starting here. I found out about my husband's indiscretions 3 weeks ago. The details may or may not matter to you. He feels terrible and wants to make our marriage work. Married 20+ years with teens at home. I want to make it work, too, but I am confused. I have good days and bad days. He's bending over backwards to show me that he is serious about wanting to make it work. He says I don't have to make any decisions now. He will understand if I leave, but he doesn't want me to leave. After several years of bad sex, we have had some amazing sex in the last 3 weeks. For those that reconciled, what made you decide that you wanted to stay and fix the marriage?

13 comments posted: Tuesday, January 10th, 2023