Will I ever be able to fully trust him again?

My husband and I have been working really hard on reconciliation. We go to therapy about 2 times a month and this has actually helped us communicate through a lot of things. It has now been just over 8 months since I found out and I felt like things were really just getting better, but lately my intrusive over thinking has gotten the best of me lately. I get a lot of anxiety thinking about him on social media even though he hasn’t used it since January. We have started to go to the gym because we want to feel better about ourselves and I love it, but I find myself laser focusing on him to see if he even looks at another girl..it’s not healthy and I don’t want to be this person. It just brings up that original worry of not being able to fully ever trust him again..and is it ok to never want him on social media again..?

4 comments posted: Friday, October 6th, 2023

Feels like a lifetime and yesterday..

It has been just over a month since D-Day. I have kept saying "if" I want to work on this since day one, but I feel like it’s time to admit that I/ we have been working towards reconciliation. I am still hurt, angered, disappointed, and disgusted by the entire situation. Even after feeling all those things I still see good in this man. He has been proving himself through actions and patience. I know it’s still early days but I need to admit that I do want to make this work..but not half assed by sweeping it under the rug. I want to do the real work and I want to truly feel like we are happy and in a healthy relationship. I still cry and I feel really overwhelmed at times. I feel really insecure and I’m not sure how to cope with that. How do you know when you can finally relax a little and not always be on high alert..also how do you move forwards with intimacy? I am definitely wanting to be intimate but also I refuse to be the one initiating since I already feel insecure in the relationship after what he did. I do have to admit I am also very scared that I might be mad at him during or after an intimate encounter..

15 comments posted: Monday, March 6th, 2023

How do I proceed…is it possible.

My husband and I have only been married since October. I just found out he has been serial cheating on me since the day we met. My husband is a kind, gentle, thoughtful person. He has always done so much for me and has made me believe I am the safest with him in my corner. Obviously finding out he has a strange addiction to messaging random women on Snapchat trying to get them to send photos and he is sending old photos of himself was an absolute shock and devastating to me. It’s a cycle he said he has done for 10 years and he tried to stop but he couldn’t. He said it was never an emotional connection just sexual. He said he has never met any in person and would cut off the conversation within 1-2 days, by blocking them on all social media. He has also done this only at work because of boredom. I just found out on Sunday and I don’t know what to do. I always thought I would never put up with a cheating man in my life. But I love him and our life seemed very happy. He is taking all the steps to make me feel "better". He deleted social media, told his boss, signed up for counseling, offered to get a flip phone..anything he can think of. What do I do? My heart and head are not on the same page. I am so heartbroken 💔 how likely is it that he will change..or that we can actually make this marriage last. We just said our vows 4 months ago..is it possible to have a happy long lasting marriage after this.

19 comments posted: Wednesday, February 1st, 2023