I want to stay, but should I?

Hello all,

Apologies for the long post, I’m very new here.
At the beginning of March, I learned that my boyfriend of a year had had an emotional affair during the first ~6 months of our relationship. This was something that I had suspected as I knew the AP and she gave me the vibe that she had been into him the whole time I knew her. I only found out because she and her friend (who I did not know) had sent me a vague text from the friends number saying that he had been "unfaithful" and wanted to let me know because we were going to be moving in together. (They had my number because I had tried to be friends with this girl initially). I got this message first thing in the morning (sent at midnight and I read it around 5am), and he initially denied knowing what it was about. We both went to work but I could tell he was lying to me. We got home after and he finally confessed that from St. Patrick’s day last year to Labor Day last year, they had been texting and flirting almost every day.

I had decided to break up with him after getting alot of opinions from my friends, but ended up coming to the realization that I really did still want to be with him after thinking for a couple weeks and a couple IC sessions. I don’t want to regret any of my decisions and I do have the confidence that he would not do this again. He started going to IC on his own and while we are only a bit over a month in, I want to work towards this future with him. My friends all say that they just want me to be happy, but I know that they will likely never like him and don’t really want me to be with him. I hate coming across to everyone as this young naive girl who is blind to everything. I don’t know if I’m just looking for reassurance that I’m not stupid for still wanting to be with him. Does anyone else have any advice? I know that every situation is unique.

16 comments posted: Wednesday, April 24th, 2024