...Time to go into the dark/where the night has eyes/to recognize its own.There you can be sure/you are not beyond love.The dark will be your home/tonight...-Excerpt from Sweet Darkness by David Whyte

Is this a safe/healthy way to reconcile?

I couldn't stop the runaway train of anger and grief yesterday. I've read that the best way forward through reconciliation is to turn towards your partner as much as possible, and she has been wonderful/courageous/honest. I opened up about my feelings and how my mind was just racing all day with mental images, feelings of disgust, inadequacy, disrespect, and confusion. My anger really started to scare her and I started getting physical with things in the room (ripping clothes, punching walls). She became tearful and asked me to leave. I told her that I would, but she should know that I would never hurt her (or my family). We were able to work through feelings, but I know I caused a lot of hurt/fear in her. We've talked about it, and she says she's okay and that she can't see us moving forward any other way. I suggested that next time I could try to calm down with a walk or other self care choices, but she didn't think that was needed.

My questions to anyone with insight are: does this sound like healthy discourse? If not, what might some better options be?

15 comments posted: Thursday, April 25th, 2024