At a crossroads

My husband had an affair with a colleague of ours. We had two young children and a baby at the time. She knew me and we used to chat in the kitchen at work…..she seemed really nice and I always used to tell him how much I liked her. She came round to our house on a couple of occasions to gatherings and I poured her drinks and made food for her, she held my baby in her arms chatting away to me and sat at our dining room table. All the while she had been flirting/texting my husband and they ended up kissing each other in the office after work and then having sex in hotels whilst I was at home raising our kids ☹️. I got pregnant again, completely oblivious to what was going on and my husband tried to make me terminate the pregnancy by being abusive and threatening me with all sorts of horrible things. I had no idea why 🤷🏼‍♀️. It turns out she had been putting pressure on him to leave me and she wanted to be stepmum to our children. She was very beautiful , charming and ten or so years younger than me.

I kept our baby, our gorgeous daughter. It took a lot of strength to stand strong throughout this and I was very poorly throughout the pregnancy due to morning sickness, stress, anxiety and the workload of looking after our other three young children whilst he was coming home from work each day shouting at me, throwing things and me, grabbing me by the neck, telling me that if I didn’t have an abortion he was going to leave us.

Around the time I gave birth, his mistress left his company and then moved away. I remember her looking very stressed out and upset at work and I think she was drinking a lot too. I didn’t realise why! He had basically broken it off with her and she had thrown a tantrum at him because he wanted to be with his family.

I didn’t find out about the affair until a couple of years ago (daughter is now 7). It completely blew my mind. I struggled to comprehend how my little girl may not have been here if I had given in to all of the intimidation/aggression at home all because there was someone younger, better and more beautiful than me applying pressure to my OH. Apparently he had been ‘promising her the world’ but he tells me otherwise.

Husband and I are now separated. Our children are upset and my eldest is struggling at school. It is sad because over the last couple of years since everything was revealed, my husband has actually tried to be there for us all. I’ve just struggled to process everything and I’ve felt really cold towards him.

The problem is, when men are cheating it can come out in awful behaviours towards their wives at home. But this is my life, it has happened and nobody can turn back the clock 🤷🏼‍♀️.

If you were in my situation , would you be able to get over everything? What would you do? Please help x

25 comments posted: Sunday, May 5th, 2024