My gf cheated on me a year ago
Im 27 and my gf is 26. We have been dating for almost 4 years. We have the most intense love for eachother. However our relationship has been nothing but trauma....
A couple months after we started dating i got injured badly which left me with immense pain and chronic mobility problems. I broke my back. This new reality left me bedridden for 2 years and in immense pain. This was incredibly hard on my gf, because she felt underappreciated during that time and felt like we were not a typical relationship. She built up resentment, and i did afterwards as well, thinking that she wasnt able to understand how i was feeling. Now i know we both just couldn't handle that situation on our own....
About just under 2 years ago, i had a major spine surgery overseas, paid out of pocket to try and correct my spine.( i was on a waitlist in my country for another 2 years). And i began my physical recovery journey. During this time our relationship was improving and we were madly in love with eachother.
In the fall of the year i had my surgery my gf went to school to finish her masters program. It was 2 hours away from where i lived. The last time we had sex before she left i had finished inside her and she ended up becoming pregnant. Her birthcontrol ended like a week before she left and the plan b pill failed. We were both shocked by the news, i told her that i would support whatever decision that she ultimately decided on. But she figured that she didnt want to deop out of school and i wasnt able enough to take care of a kid. So we decided on aborting the baby. It was very hard on her. We would call eachother and i would be on the phone with her for hours, because she said she felt lonely and she was struggling. She didnt want to tell her family and asked me not to tell mine, because she was afraid of how they would react. About 2 weeks after that her brother announced that him and his gf were having a baby. This broke my gf, she was devastated.
Over that year we would call everyday and she would come back every 3 weeks on avg. During the summer my physical state started to really inprove, i could drive and i could go to work and go on dates again with my gf... however i was a little disappointed at how my gf was reacting to me improving. She was more agitated or upset or sometimes lashing out at me. I attributed it to her being stressed with knowing she was to go to school again and i would just be there for her.
Fast forward to her second year of school. We planned a cabin getaway for end of nov awhile ago. While we were at the cabin, i was praising her and telling her how proud i am of her and how far weve come in our relationship, and i appreciate everything shes done for me and us and stuff like that... well i guess she felt too guilty and finally admitted that right after the abortion and she found out about her brothers baby, she was drunk and a work event and some guy came onto her and she slept with her that night and then did it again the next weekend at a work event. She claims she never texted him before or after and there were no emotions, that she was purely broken during that time and wasnt in her right mind.....
I was absolutely devasted to hear this, it just didnt seem real and didnt sound like her. She said the me that she didnt tell me earlier and when it happened because i was borderline suicidal during that time and before because of my back problems. It just makes me feel like she was a stranger this last year, after reflecting certain behaviors that i was confused about all make sense now.
In hind sight i shouldve pushed her to tell her mom, but i just didnt know how affected she deeply was by the abortion.
Im so hurt she pleased some man, im so hurt she went to that level. I told her that our relationship is over and that i need space. And she was crying the whole time and didnt want to lose "the love of her life" and she will do anything to gain my trust again. I just dont trust her anymore. I dont want to be out of the relationship, but i feel ny hand is forced. I love her so much.....
9 comments posted: Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024
