Extreme, 9+ years

Here the truth:

1. I’m just sharing to get it off my chest in a safe place, hopefully. I am hoping that this story may have similar cases. It hurts to think this is the worse and I will be the only person on the entire plant who dealt with this situation.

So, in 2016, I had my first miscarriage. My husband was neglected and I was depressed. He would have committed his first offense right before moving to Hawaii. Safe sex, thank goodness.

In Hawaii, from 2017-2022, he wouldn’t do it again for about a year. I got pregnant by the end of 2017. Two months, before my son was born, he would commit his second offense with an escort. (It’s not bad , yet)

After having my son, I come to learned that he would be on Festish website and on the escort websites . He would commit upwards to 20 offenses during this time. In addition, he went back home and hung out with an old friend twice. Which I learned during those times, protection was not involved. He states he always used protection every other time , especially with an escort.

Then, three years go by and he claims that he believes nothing happened during that time. He got very busy, but it is possible that he could have happened 1-3 times ( unsure). I’ll count it as a nothing to make myself feel better.

We leave that location, back to family and fixing our lives to transition out the military (yup! You read that right). So, now , I finally start my career. I find out within the 1 year and half ,he had been out of the military, and I’ve been taken care of everything, that another 5-10 more offenses would happen. Last times, He did it in May, paused for summer because of family reasons. Then did it again in September.

My D-day was November 16th. He did tell me basics . It’s been like an onion and I got tired of peeling one layer at a time, so he is figuring out how many times and everything else I should know. He claims is a sec addiction.

As of right now, he is doing the small things I have asked. He is not looking at pornography. He states he realizes he is about to lose me. He cries a lot.

This is the first half of the story , I need to reveal because the aftermath is really scaring mee.

I want to add this half because , I truly need help with my emotions and if anyone can give me tips.

I’ve been truly "happy", the lady down stairs wants it daily, three times a day. So, the first time happened fairly quickly (four days later)

and it was constant- almost every day. I’m about 29, so maybe it’s that. I did have him leave yesterday, but I am not controlling my urges well. Pleasing myself is NOT enough. Please help me not falling into a vicious cycle because I know it’s not healthy. Share tips!

Update: 12/17

I’m four weeks pregnant. Which is just amazing within itself, only because I have PCOS. Why now? I couldn’t explain why. Am I thinking this is too much , yes! Taken day by day. Have gotten some helpful tips. At the point of just watching and waiting.

3 comments posted: Saturday, December 7th, 2024