How Long Does the Affair Fog Last?

Its been a month since I saw his "I love you" text to his coworker. He immediately left for work out of town. In her town, coincidentally. He hasn't returned and has cut off nearly all communication with me. We have been together for over 20 years and have 3 kids together. I love him. I thought we had a happy marriage. He insists that he has done nothing wrong, just developed a really deep emotional connection with a coworker that led to texting each other 50 times a day. He admits that he's attracted to her. He has fallen in love with her. He refuses to show me their text history, but acknowledged that I would be bothered by the sexually suggestive texts, flirting and the things he has said about me to her. He refuses to call it an affair because he insists that he hasn't slept with her or even kissed her. He told me that he wants to stay married and that when this job ends in 2 weeks, his relationship with her will naturally fade away. I have told him that he needs to end contact, or not to bother returning home. He consistently refuses to do that. I know that he doesn't want to be with her long term. He wants to have his marriage AND his "friend". My boundary is pretty clear that I won't tolerate that. But at what point do I give up hope? Will he ever see reason? He isn't thinking clearly right now. How long is reasonable for me to wait for him to stop being an idiot? How long did your partner's affair fog last?

9 comments posted: Thursday, July 17th, 2025