Who Else Feels So Much Anger For Destroying Your Life?

I am a SAHM with two girls, ages 5 & 6. I have been married for almost 10 years, and while my husband has "dabbled" on dating sites over the years, he finally turned virtual into reality, by meeting with a woman and being intimate. And I hate him for it.

Yes, I probably should have left years ago, at the first sign. But I had a toddler and a newborn at the time, and with his major anger issues, I couldn't risk him having 1/2 custody of such young kids. So I mentally compartmentalized and raised our kids, cooked, cleaned, and helped him run his business - without pay.

I never rejected sex from him, except for when I could barely keep my eyes open. In fact, I rarely said "No" to him about anything. He was able to go wherever, whenever, while I kept the fort down. I stood by his side when he didn't have a penny to his name, and I even paid/helped him through the U.S. immigration process.

I even sacrificed my career and financial independence because he didn't want to be a stay-at-home-dad. Now, I cannot even leave or retain a lawyer, because I have absolutely no access to money. I have been looking for jobs that would work around their school schedule in the fall, but most jobs ask for references from prior employers, and I cannot even get that, because he forced me to quit my last job without notice.

I am just stuck in the home, caring for our kids alone. He goes to work and then spends all of his free time outside or on the phone with friends. He goes and spends money and shows his friends what a fabulous life he has, while I am at home cooking meals and trying to figure out how to make $30 last.

The kids can tell that something is up, and so they are acting up a lot. And because they don't feel emotionally safe with him, they save all of their tantrums for me. So that just adds another layer of stress.

I am just so angry at him. I feel like he used me and spit me out. And in the end, he just talks about how hurt HE is and how lonely HE is. I know that life isn't fair. I was never born with a gold spoon in my mouth. But to be betrayed by someone you vowed forever with - it just sucks.

10 comments posted: Sunday, June 7th, 2026

Why Are They So Selfish? He Ruined Marriage For Me

I have been with my husband 9 years, 2 kids - 5&6. The most recent discovery was about two months ago, and it happened several months before, when I was out of town. I had to dig and find the truth myself, because he wouldn’t tell me.

This is the 3rd time that I have found him using
Tinder throughout our marriage - but I was never able to find proof that he met up with anyone. He even downloaded a ton of apps when I was pregnant with our second child.

I am just so mad at him. Whatever he wanted, I did it. He wanted me to be a SAHM after our first child was born, I obliged. He wanted me to help him with his business (for free), I said "okay". He wanted me to be on birth control asap after giving birth
(because he didn’t want to use a condom), I signed up for an appointment right away. And now, he even wants me to get my tubes tied, because he doesn’t want to get a vasectomy.

Looking back at everything, I can see that I was always the one sacrificing. He justifies his cheating, saying that I didn’t give him time. And yet, I was the one cooking and cleaning and raising the kids, while he travelled all across the world - alone.

How can they be so selfish and yet think that they are not in the wrong? It is unfathomable.

27 comments posted: Saturday, March 21st, 2026