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Newest Member: PurelyPhysical

Fun & Games :
SI quote thread- Vol 14

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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:16 PM on Sunday, August 6th, 2023

Ghostrider in Help me Understand aps thread:

We aren't talking about a segment of the population with the deepest and evolved critical thinking skills.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30442   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8803484
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 5:28 PM on Saturday, September 23rd, 2023

I totally agree that a trigger is a trigger. It’s like an emotional episode of diarrhea, there is no putting it off even if you want to.

This is a perfect description of a trigger from InkHulk in the thread "The Turning Test"

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3600   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8809098
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:38 PM on Thursday, October 5th, 2023

I can more-or-less guarantee one thing:
While you have doubts, you and your marriage will never recover.

Bigger in JFO thread, Sending naked snaps to another man....

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8810620
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:01 PM on Thursday, December 21st, 2023

I think the key to recovering from the Hell of infidelity is Universal, and that’s belief in oneself first — be it R or D.

Oldwounds in "how infuriating and nonsensical "the affair was not real" sounds"

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30442   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8818961
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:49 PM on Wednesday, January 24th, 2024

I treat infidelity like a glitter bomb. I stay far and away from people who support it, practice it, or act in ways that promote it or suggest that they do. I don’t want to get glitter on me again. It permeates everything. It’s hard to get off.

Shehawk in JFO in "Help! Wife's friend is having an affair with older guy she met at a party in my house."

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8822262
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:38 PM on Wednesday, January 31st, 2024

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’ll text you some kibbles,
When I have my next poo.

In General on the thread Texting AP from the bathroom, and Abcd89 posted this little gem.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8823081
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 5:42 PM on Thursday, February 8th, 2024

Hikingout on the shame we carry from past abuse:

We carry the shame of what someone else should have been ashamed of and it becomes like a dark secret that we have to push down to the depth of our soul.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1190   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8823897
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BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 5:09 PM on Monday, March 4th, 2024

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, f*** you.

-- SacredSoul in Webbit's thread "I want this marriage to survive...but what if it's not the right thing to do?"

[This message edited by BraveSirRobin at 10:17 PM, Monday, March 4th]

WW/BW

posts: 3669   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8827197
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:49 AM on Friday, March 8th, 2024

I need to stop joining such shitty clubs.

courageous in Off Topic Herniated cervical disc questions.

I want to stop joining shitty clubs, too.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8827836
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:42 PM on Friday, April 26th, 2024

She doesn't want a relationship with you. She just doesn't want to be alone while she's looking for the next one.

Seeking2Forgive on soconfused0314's thread hard to move on in General.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8834853
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:05 PM on Wednesday, May 1st, 2024

This0is0Fine:

It can be hard to tell the difference between stupidity and bravery, but you can't go around feeling stupid about your decisions.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30442   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8835335
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:48 PM on Thursday, September 26th, 2024

From Chaos:

The true metamorphosis comes with when they look in the mirror and realize they WERE the person and they did DO this. And start owning that lock, stock and barrel.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30442   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8849624
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:11 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2024

Deciding that an affair is the appropriate reply to some dysfunctionality... that’s like treating his bad breath with a shotgun round to his face.

Bigger in JFO thread I know it's not my fault but.. is it actually my fault?

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8850453
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