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The Book Club :
"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck"

Topic is Sleeping.
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 StreetMedic (original poster member #49626) posted at 4:33 AM on Thursday, April 13th, 2017

"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life," by Mark Manson

Don't let the title mislead you. While it sounds hopelessly cynical, it's actually quite empowering and level-headed.

Manson makes the argument ... that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.

"Infidelity isn't in the sex ... it's in the secrecy. It isn't whom you lie with. It's whom you lie to." --Frank Pittman

posts: 119   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2015
id 7835141
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 5:56 AM on Tuesday, April 18th, 2017

I couldn't help but chuckle when I read your post title. My SO just gave me this book after I recently told him my give-a-f*ck broke a long time ago.

I am actually forward to reading it. Just haven't had the time.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 7839216
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 StreetMedic (original poster member #49626) posted at 10:12 PM on Tuesday, April 18th, 2017

It's a good take. I blew through it on audio in only a couple of days, but I eventually bought a hard copy because I decided I wanted to go back, reread it, and maybe make some notes and highlights.

"Infidelity isn't in the sex ... it's in the secrecy. It isn't whom you lie with. It's whom you lie to." --Frank Pittman

posts: 119   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2015
id 7839852
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Growingweary ( member #47279) posted at 10:24 PM on Wednesday, April 19th, 2017

I enjoyed this book immensely. The first chapter was absolutely hilarious! I about peed my pants laughing so hard!!! (Serously!!!!!) And who doesn’t deserve a good laugh??? BTW, the author also has a website filled with useful articles on dating/relationships, life choices, psychology, & culture.

Me: BW
Him: WH
M: 35 years
Confronted: 11/22/14

You can’t talk your way out of a problem you behaved your way into! - Stephen Covey

posts: 165   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2015
id 7841025
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 StreetMedic (original poster member #49626) posted at 2:39 AM on Friday, April 21st, 2017

He's got a couple of other books which I've thumbed through, and their premises seem just as misleading (in a good way). They're presented as though they may be just so much more pick-up-artist gimmicky dreck, but they're actually quite the opposite. They advocate avoiding that sort of juvenile trickery in favor of just working on yourself and managing expectations in the "dating world." (Or so I recall, anyway.)

In fact, the subtitle of one of them was "attract women through honesty," which -- for obvious SI.com reasons -- struck an ironic chord with me given what I was healing from, and which got me to pick it up in the first place.

I doubt OM would have been caught within ten feet of anything with the words "attract women through honesty" stamped on it.

[This message edited by StreetMedic at 8:41 PM, April 20th (Thursday)]

"Infidelity isn't in the sex ... it's in the secrecy. It isn't whom you lie with. It's whom you lie to." --Frank Pittman

posts: 119   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2015
id 7842267
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redfury ( member #58256) posted at 4:13 PM on Monday, April 24th, 2017

LOVED this book! It is an especially good reminder for people like me (codependants) who tend to make everyone else's problems their own.

This person/thing/event has nothing to do with my goals? Then I don't give a f*ck.

Co-d BW, 40
Divorced
D-days: 4-20-2016 and so many more
Recovery is ongoing, I'm doing better every day

posts: 1002   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2017   ·   location: Colorado
id 7845125
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Trying2Survive1 ( member #40022) posted at 6:27 AM on Sunday, April 30th, 2017

I just started this book after learning about it here...so far I love it! TY!

Madhatters, M 37yrs, many DDays
Both 60's, he now has stage 4 bladder cancer and in remission.
We're in solid R, there is hope!
Stop right there: I already don’t give a fuck ~ ty Greeneyesbluezy

posts: 436   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2013   ·   location: The Upside Down
id 7851043
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nervousnelly ( member #58359) posted at 7:34 PM on Monday, May 1st, 2017

It is a great book. I have gone back to reference it several times.

1. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.
2. Learn to love yourself.
3. Listen to your gut.

posts: 281   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2017
id 7852121
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 9:41 PM on Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

I have this sitting on a shelf somewhere. Never got around to reading it, but I'll have to find it and add it to my reading pile.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 7853189
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SoulCrushed16 ( member #53364) posted at 9:40 PM on Saturday, May 6th, 2017

I'm so going going to down this on my iPad. I really have no more fucks to give. I'm on E.

"The best day of my life is the rest of my life without you " --- SC16

posts: 937   ·   registered: May. 25th, 2016   ·   location: USA
id 7857208
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Neznayou ( member #40654) posted at 4:27 AM on Tuesday, May 16th, 2017

We all have problems. Pick which problem you want to have.

Him: BH 1969
Me: WW 1973

Wedding: April 9, 1994

Son: 1998 (college freshman)
Son: 2002 (high school freshman)

Caught at AP's house: 10 Aug 2012

I do not have it all together.

posts: 862   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2013   ·   location: Far, far away
id 7865224
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Hawke ( member #47517) posted at 2:27 AM on Sunday, October 8th, 2017

I just got this book. I probably would not have even picked it up had it not been for this post. I'm feeling bruises from a few 2x4s just in the first chapter (imagining what the Disappointment Panda would say if he knocked on my door!). Great recommendation. 5 stars (at least for the first 35 pages)!

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7993813
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Justme77 ( member #60638) posted at 6:50 PM on Wednesday, October 11th, 2017

It's on Amazon and you can read the first 10 pages of it for free. It looks interesting.

[This message edited by Justme77 at 12:51 PM, October 11th (Wednesday)]

Me: BS, mid 50s.
Married for 10 years, together for almost 20 years.
WH: 61, OTR Truck driving husband.
Kids; DS from previous marriage, late 20s.
DS: mid teens
DDay: 9/3/17

posts: 74   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2017
id 7996622
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Simplicity ( member #60501) posted at 1:23 PM on Thursday, October 12th, 2017

Awesome. Found it at my library on hoopla, and I'm totally downloading it for my plane ride! Excited to read it.

posts: 1267   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2017   ·   location: USA
id 7997301
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JustDone ( member #9742) posted at 7:54 PM on Friday, October 13th, 2017

If you like the book, he also has a blog:

https://markmanson.net/archive

with some interesting articles.

Madhatter
Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

posts: 3058   ·   registered: Feb. 12th, 2006
id 7998650
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lostthatlovingfeeling ( member #58356) posted at 1:18 AM on Sunday, October 29th, 2017

Loved this book!

This is the hardest thing I have ever been through. It's still a work in progress and will always be. I am not sure I can ever forgive this. I cannot forget.

posts: 404   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2016
id 8010542
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 StreetMedic (original poster member #49626) posted at 6:21 AM on Sunday, October 29th, 2017

Judging by the shelf at my local bookstore, it's still pretty popular around here, too:

"Infidelity isn't in the sex ... it's in the secrecy. It isn't whom you lie with. It's whom you lie to." --Frank Pittman

posts: 119   ·   registered: Sep. 15th, 2015
id 8010626
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H0nest ( member #60816) posted at 5:29 PM on Wednesday, November 1st, 2017

was thinking about getting this for my BW birthday, but not sure how it will go over....

Me: 44
BW 42
Together 22 yrs, M 16 yrs. DD 9/23/15
3 kids
EA discovered before it became PA

posts: 62   ·   registered: Sep. 28th, 2017
id 8013015
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imagoodwitch ( member #23375) posted at 4:40 PM on Thursday, November 2nd, 2017

Bought this to read on my upcoming vacation!

Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess

posts: 6906   ·   registered: Mar. 25th, 2009   ·   location: Munchkinland
id 8013970
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hopefulkate ( member #47752) posted at 6:38 PM on Thursday, November 9th, 2017

Just read this last week. Fantastic!!! Many 2x4s in there for me. Loved it.

posts: 1814   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2015   ·   location: United States
id 8020182
Topic is Sleeping.
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