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Newest Member: IamaDinorawr

New Beginnings :
Dr. Aron’s 36 question study?

Topic is Sleeping.
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 AnnieOakley (original poster member #13332) posted at 9:19 PM on Thursday, May 14th, 2020

I read a NY Times (long) article a few years ago and it was wayyy tooo scary at that point!

It is about falling in love or assessing the potential by answering 36 questions then literally staring into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes. You can google, as I did not want to post the link.

Someone linked it in their OLD profile that I read today and it does not seem quite so bad today! Progress I say!

And if nothing else, the 36 questions are some good ones for virtual dating at this point. Some don’t apply because it was in a college setting but I would not be opposed to trying it with someone after a couple++ dates. Who knows?

Anyone else familiar with it?

Me= BSHim=xWH (did the work & became the man I always thought he was, but it was too late)M=23+,T=27+dday=7/06, 8/09 (pics at a work function), 11/09 VAR, 6/12 Sep'd, 10/14 Divorced."If you are going through hell, keep going."

posts: 1722   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2007   ·   location: Pacific Time Zone
id 8542386
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:45 AM on Friday, May 15th, 2020

I am not, but now I am curious!! And a little scared...

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8542473
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Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 4:46 PM on Friday, May 15th, 2020

I've heared of it and even tried some of the questions before. It was also featured on an episode of The Big Bang Theory, where Sheldon and Amy tried it. They did not end up falling in love, lol.

I think the questions are a really cool way to get to know each other. Me and my WEXBF had a lot of fun answering 'what constitutes a perfect day for you' for example. That's how he knew I loved breakfast in bed, but then the asshole rarely actually brought me any.

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 271   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8542695
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 AnnieOakley (original poster member #13332) posted at 12:39 AM on Saturday, May 16th, 2020

Ha! I didn’t know it was on the BBT, must have missed that one!

Yes, some of the questions are interesting...they make you think. I like the one about your house burning and all family/pets are safe. One thing you would get and why?

And a perfect example w your ex, people either do not listen or care enough to listen closely (and act) to those types of things. You put it on a silver platter for him...

Me= BSHim=xWH (did the work & became the man I always thought he was, but it was too late)M=23+,T=27+dday=7/06, 8/09 (pics at a work function), 11/09 VAR, 6/12 Sep'd, 10/14 Divorced."If you are going through hell, keep going."

posts: 1722   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2007   ·   location: Pacific Time Zone
id 8542839
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SallyShrink81 ( member #50219) posted at 9:07 PM on Saturday, May 23rd, 2020

I know the study well. It's really interesting because it says that it helps people fall in love, but if you read the way the study was actually done with complete strangers and they stared into each other eyes for 1 minute or two after every 12 questions... Honestly I don't think it was about "falling in love" I think it was about creating emotional intimacy but then doing the study or even the question which are fairly intimate questions or can be with vulnerable people it almost creates a false sense of intimacy between two people....that's my 2 cents.

HOWEVER I think that the questions are good questions to ask in the casual dating phase of being with a person just not sitting down and going through them all in one sitting.

FBS now surviving and thriving
2 kiddos born 2011 & 2014
"If a woman steals your husband, she might as well steal your shoes too, because one day she'll be walking in them." #karma

posts: 909   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2015   ·   location: Michigan
id 8545203
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Snapdragon ( member #4286) posted at 4:31 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2020

Didn't they have something like that on Big Bang Theory? Penny and Sheldon did the "test"?

Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink

posts: 4089   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2004   ·   location: Midwest
id 8545530
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Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 7:41 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2020

Snapdragon, oh right, it was Penny and Sheldon! I said Amy and Sheldon in a previous post but it was supposed to be funny. They had that very brother-sister like friendship after, didn't they?

AnnieOakley: yup, on a silver platter but still too lazy/not caring enough to do something about it. While I used his perfect day description to set up a whole day for him on his birthday. Oh, well.

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 271   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8545568
Topic is Sleeping.
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