Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

New Beginnings :
I'm moving

Topic is Sleeping.
default

 josiep (original poster member #58593) posted at 3:57 PM on Saturday, January 16th, 2021

I've been trying to write this post for weeks now but I can't seem to figure out how to say it. I think I've figured out why I'm struggling - it's because I'm very ambivalent about it all and not sure I'm doing the right thing. One minute I'm happy about it and the next minute I'm sad.

Anyway, my DD and her family are moving back to their old neighborhood here in FL. She and SIL will both work from home permanently with their jobs so they're packing in the ice and snow and heading back down here. They've got it all figured out and and part of their plan is for me to move near them. Which is a good idea actually. So I bought a one story house in their same neighborhood, about 3/4 mile away from their new house.

I'll write more later but at least I got that part out there.

The house I bought is nice enough but it's not what I wanted. It also needs a lot of elbow grease and updates. A widow bought it new and lived in it for 16 yrs. until she died so it's in good condition but she never did one thing to it so it needs painting, etc.

I'm struggling to get my current home listed with real estate. I just keep finding any excuse to not do the cleaning or the decluttering.

I can't afford to own 2 houses for very long so I need to work through this.

I'm either in the throes of depression still or I'm lazy or my sleep disorders (narcolepsy/hypersomnia and sleep apnea) are in high gear.

On a happier note, I got the first dose of the Covid vaccine this week so that's a positive toward being able to travel again.

I wish I had some friends to talk to and to help me sort all this out. I hate the Rat Bastard for isolating me from my former friends because I haven't managed to "un-isolate" and it's just not my normal self to not be surrounded by legions of adoring friends. :)

Anyway, anyone wanna come to FLA and help me clear out one house and fill up another? Free room and board - work until Noon and then beach, etc. the rest of the day....................

[This message edited by josiep at 10:01 AM, January 16th (Saturday)]

BW, was 67; now 74; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017

posts: 3240   ·   registered: May. 5th, 2017
id 8625759
default

skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 4:29 PM on Saturday, January 16th, 2021

Josie,

Moving is one of the most stressful life changes we experience - even when it's positive. Feeling resistance is normal. It's very overwhelming. This may be one of those moments where it's well worth it to pay for help. If you can hire a decluttering/organizing expert (this is a thing now though not exactly sure what it's called) to help you it might be a lot easier.

Also, let go of perfection - sure if you could totally declutter, stage the place, repaint etc you'd fetch the best price but maybe it's okay to do what you can and take a small hit in price - just to get on with your life.

Wish I could come and help you - it sounds like fun!

Me: BS 56 on DDay 1 - 7/2019 DIVORCED - 1/2021

posts: 1272   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2019
id 8625765
default

homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 12:43 AM on Sunday, January 17th, 2021

I know someone who sold her house furnished!!!!! It went really fast!!!! Would that help you if you knew you could leave some big things, pack up the momentos and move it? Then sort it a box at a time in your new place? Or, instead of calling the realtor (causing anxiety) call a moving company and get a price on them wrapping up everything for you? They are probably hurting for $$ right now, you might get a great price. Then call the realtor since you’ll know the costs involved in moving big furniture vs leaving it.

If not, maybe hire painters to paint the new place - or at least the room where your plastic totes will be kept until you get to them.

(I’m sorting thru clutter today, and yes it’s time consuming. I’ll be moving to the Clearwater area in a couple of years so I’m trying to get started decluttering now. It’s gonna take a long time.,blush:

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 6:23 AM, January 17th (Sunday)]

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5507   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8625835
default

Chili ( member #35503) posted at 1:23 AM on Sunday, January 17th, 2021

Hey josiep:

I'm always thrilled for you when you take such big and brave steps - so good on you.

As for the moving...just UGH. I know several people doing it right now - a couple who is mid 80s seriously downsizing..by several thousand square feet. Not hoarders at all, but when you live to that age so healthy and take on all the family's stuff through the years. Yeah. UGH.

Can you break it down into small chunks? I know that seems obvious, but seriously, it's like I can only hold one big thought in my head at a time right now. So I take on my tasks and celebrate a lot if they get done close to my internal deadline. I am simply not the Chili of a year ago right now and I've had to make peace with it.

The thing I did tell those older folks was overlapping for a couple of months on two places might be worth the cost of their sanity and physical health and stress if they could wing it. Any kind of transition is really just flat out hard right now.

I know you were even considering a move up to the colder climates at one point, so this sounds like a pretty positive thing in the end? I'm so glad you're going to be closer to your peeps. And who knows what other doors might open for you. If you can get through the tasks of closing your current doors...I know it feels like a big mountain to climb. But you are mighty!

(Oh and he's still a rat bastard).

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2238   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
id 8625841
default

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:10 PM on Sunday, January 17th, 2021

This sounds like a great plan! Moving is such a giant pain in the ass!!

I think biting off small bits is the way to go. Getting rid of some of the old stuff may feel cathartic when you get it done.

Those junk haulers are great. You pack what you want, then they take away everything else. Some sort through it for donate, recycle, etc. so it’s not like you are just filling the landfill.

And sometimes having deadlines can help break the lack of momentum and get things rolling.

And you bought a new house— that is HUGE! How fun to get to pick paint colors and new flooring and drapes and the rest. That took lots of time when I bought my house which helped fill hours in my new place.

Congrats on the vaccine— 2021 is going to be a better year!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6198   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8625920
default

WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 11:27 PM on Tuesday, January 19th, 2021

I haven't been around much lately, life stuff. I'm just seeing this. Josie, I would drive up there in a heartbeat and help you, if I could. Marie Kondo your whole place. Unfortunately, my petri dish of an STBX caught covid and passed it along to all three of my kids. I'm awaiting my test results, but I know I am positive as I have been symptomatic since Friday. No other explanation for the sore throat, body aches, and feeling like I have a rubber band wrapped around my chest.

Anywhoo, I'm happy to hear you are staying in warmer climates. And listen, it is a seller's market in South Florida. Anything with good bones is selling within a couple of days. Even with clutter. There is very little inventory as folks flee lockdown in colder climates.

One drawer at a time. One closet at a time. if you haven't laid eyes on it or used it in 2 years, toss it. Anything that reminds you of your old life, leave behind. You won't miss it.

Keep us posted on how it's going. (((Josiep)))

A whole new chapter for you surrounded by loved ones. This is a great thing!!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8626559
default

nothisfriend ( member #53171) posted at 12:56 PM on Wednesday, January 27th, 2021

Ah Josie I would come if I wasn't doing the exact same thing!

My BF was planning to retire and move in with me this May. But with covid and him teaching remotely it ended up being last fall. My little house would have been very tight. But a house across the street came up and we jumped on it. Lots of work by my mom and I and moving has gone slowly. But now the little house is going to close in February so I need to get in gear. That house was my refuge, my new beginning and the start of a strong independent life. But the new house is also a new beginning and as bad as the pandemic is my BF and I found out we can live together.

Oh, and my recent college grad has also moved in. For just a while he says . Lol

Me: BS 50 (at the time) Him: WH 53 (at the time) D-Day: 10/25/15 Married: 28 years. One son, age 18 (at the time)
D final 2016 REMARRIED to a marvelous guy on 4/22/23

posts: 1298   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2016   ·   location: Illinois
id 8628239
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20241101b 2002-2024 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy