Thanks for your comments and opinions.
It sounds like you had a wonderful date. How did you leave it?
We just said goodbye and I messaged her to say i'd like to meet again, which was responded to positively. With the way things are in the world it could be another month, or longer!
You haven’t posted much but from what you have said it appears you are not yet divorced.
I'm not, and it's unlikely to happen soon. I am overseas, and if I went ahead with it, my ex would end up having to leave the country due to our visa situation. Much as I dislike her, I would not want to stop the children from seeing her. I have no idea what will happen in the future.
you leave out if you are still living together, separated,
divorced a BS or WS. so to comment on you dating is
pointless.
then you leave out how you presented your marital
relationship status online and to this girl you went on a date
with.
I am separated and my wife does not live with me. I have been totally open about this in my online profile and face to face.
It sounds early because in the mood of being cheated and ending your marriage, you can make unhealthy decisions about your future. On the other hand, if you can just enjoy the moment without making sudden decisions, this can actually help you get rid of this trauma more comfortably.
I agree, I think partly my situation (overseas, no family connections) means that I kind of wanted to meet up with someone. I think many people overseas might be in a similar situation right due to Covid and all the restrictions, even those not separated/divorced etc. We all know it's hard being away from people you are close to and having some kind of connection with someone is something I felt I needed. Being overseas i've realised has added to my feeling of isolation. I have been thinking about this for a few weeks, and felt like it was something that would help me, just to talk to someone. I also realised that part of healing was to be able to think about myself in a positive light with another person, to realise that what happened wasn't that I was a shitty person?
I agree that maybe this is very soon, but at the same time I have made a conscious decision to be completely open with anyone I meet. I am definitely thinking that maybe I will not do this (keep trying to meet people) again anyway. I don't want to spend my time on Tinder etc. trying to organise dates right now, it's a bit too much.
I suggest that you hold off dating until you’re comfortable with your kids knowing that you’re dating in general, not necessarily a specific woman.
This makes sense to me, and I agree that I need to think carefully about this. I feel like I don't want to keep going with the online apps, and certainly want to take it easy, but at the same time it feels great to have met someone that has a lot of common interests and experiences, which was quite startling.
Anyway, I have been clear from the moment I started chatting with this person about my situation, that I have kids, that I am recently separated (she did ask). I've also realised that I have not asked her any of these questions.
I am seeing a counsellor in a couple of days and hope to talk all this through. However, you are right about my feelings about the kids, and this is a hard one to balance.