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Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

New Beginnings :
Life on the other side is great!

Topic is Sleeping.
smile1

 leavinglimbo2019 (original poster new member #72079) posted at 10:07 PM on Saturday, March 13th, 2021

I've been divorced for almost a year now. While the process of going through dday number 2 and all that followed was hard, I have come out on the other side and have worked through so much. I am working on loving myself and dreaming and pursuing what I want in life. I'm independent and excited for the future. I completed a year and a half of individual counseling. I'm starting to wean off medication for depression and anxiety. I'm about to close on the refi on my house which will now be in my name only and I will be saving a lot of money due to the low interest rates. Other debt is almost paid off. My kids are doing good although they've been distance learning due to the pandemic. All of this self work has been good and I know I can have a happy and fulfilling life by myself if that's what happens. But I felt like I was ready to check out the dating scene and set up a Match profile last week. A divorced nearly 47 year old chunky gal with 2 teens may not be the hottest commodity on match but a week ago last night a pretty awesome guy messaged me and we chatted back and forth and then went on a date on Tuesday and another yesterday. We have hit it off and had fun so far. I am loving my new beginnings and even if this particular match doesn't turn into something bigger, it is giving me some much needed confidence that I could find someone that is better suited to me than my cheating ex. I'm still doing lots of work on myself but this week has been pretty great. I left limbo and I'm soooo glad! On another note, my ex and I are coparenting well together and we get along fine in that capacity. This has helped me heal as well and let go of a lot of past anger. Wishing the best for all here.

Me: BW 47
exBH: 46
Married 23 years, together 25
Twin 14 year olds
DDAY #1: 10/13/12 Prostitute (Legal brothel)
DDAY #2: 11/13/19 PA several months with coworker
Divorced as of 3/27/2020!

posts: 13   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2019   ·   location: NV
id 8641656
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Palmetto9213 ( new member #71217) posted at 3:17 AM on Sunday, March 14th, 2021

You should be so proud of all that you've accomplished in such a short period of time! Your self-confidence is inspiring and I hope you have fun navigating the dating scene....it's teaching me how to set boundaries and to recognize what my deal breakers are in relationships. I wish you all the best in your New Beginning too!

BS-59Y/O Female
WS-66 Y/O Male
Married 13 years
Divorce finalized 6-22-20

"Darling-that soft spot you have for broken things is going to make you bleed"....but I decided I was not willing to bleed to death!

posts: 48   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8641678
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:44 AM on Sunday, March 14th, 2021

Another great story to show that D is not the worst solution sometimes.

Glad to see a positive outcome.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14193   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8641717
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 6:28 AM on Sunday, April 4th, 2021

Great story!!

Thanks for posting it.

Life really can be so good without infidelity.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1779   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8647953
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demolishedinside ( member #47839) posted at 10:45 AM on Sunday, April 4th, 2021

This is wonderful! I am almost a year from D, too, and my life is infinitely better. I’m in a relationship that makes me so happy. I never would have thought I could feel so happy after all of it, but I’m so glad I am where I am and so happy to see you are doing well.

BS - me/3 kids
DD - April 2015 / SA-Jan. 28, 2017
DD2- October 23, 2018
Divorced and happy

posts: 2073   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2015
id 8647962
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Westway ( member #71747) posted at 5:59 PM on Wednesday, April 7th, 2021

I'm glad to hear you are doing well. Keep pushing forward. As for the new guy, keep it light and unentangled with him. Set your expectations and boundaries up front.

Me: 52;

XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater

Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.

posts: 1366   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8648637
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lifestoshort ( member #18442) posted at 3:54 AM on Sunday, May 2nd, 2021

Really great post! so happy for you :)

Im 45. 1st H I left in 2001 after 3 kids. narcassist.
2nd exH had MANY affairs.FALSE R. cheats again. D 5/09. 2 kids. I got 100% custody. ex hasnt seen kids in 6 yrs.
2014 to now: dated highschool sweetheart. He cheated w 23 yr old & left.

posts: 1061   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2008
id 8656006
Topic is Sleeping.
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