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Thanks leafields!

The concert was simply amazing. You know, we've heard all of the local bands and musicians around here for the past couple of years, but when you hear real professionals, they just blow you away! Bela Fleck and his group were just phenomenal and the concert setting was just out of sight being in the mountains and canyons of Southern Colorado. We saw a couple of friends there as well and had a wonderful time. She slept in the passenger seat while I drove us home.

The next day I had a morning bike ride for a local land conservancy's benefit and made a few new friends and had a nice time. Right when I got home from the ride and lunch, Teacher texted and said she was going to the lake to kayak and wondered if I would meet her there or come over and pick her and her kayak up. So I quickly changed out of sweaty bike clothes and loaded my kayak and headed over. Little dog Molly greeted me while I grabbed her kayak and loaded it up and Teacher was ready to go. During the ride to the lake (about 15 minutes) we had a really nice visit. Then we had a great time paddling and floating around with some friends.

Our evening continued with some take out food and snuggling and just "us" time. So special and fun! What a great weekend!

It's harvest season in our area now. The aroma of roasting green chili peppers is intoxicating. I woke up this morning thinking about tamales, since I rode my bike to 2 farm stands roasting green chilis yesterday. I found some mediocre tamales today, but fortunately, my son loves them, so they won't go to waste.

Teacher made an order for some tamales from one of her friends to pick up tomorrow. They will be ready while she is still at school, so she asked if I would pick them up. Gosh, sharing food pickups...is that another step forward?

LOL. Could be.

Years ago, I went to church with a Latinx family. We loved picnics when they would bring their family tamales. I have always compared other tamales to theirs. Well, they decided to open a place and sell tamales. Now, they have a James Beard Award for tamales. No wonder why I'd be disappointed when friends sold their tamales to raise money.

I always thought the best tamales were ones I bought out of the back of a ratty old hatchback in the parking lot from some old Mexican man with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth as he reached into a dirty looking cooler and pulled out a foil wrapped dozen. Sort of felt like a drug deal...

I think it was around a year ago that Teacher and I pretty much quit trying dating around and have only been seeing each other. It just keeps being a really fun adventure.

Our city/region has a fall chili festival every year and this is the weekend. They block off the major "shopping" street downtown and the farmers set up farm stands and chili roasters and there are tons of booths of various vendors and 4 big tents at some of the major streets for music throughout the day and into the night. We spent the last two afternoons and evenings out among the crowds and finding good music and dancing. We're getting more attuned to each other's dancing styles and have been having just a great time. Of course we see a lot of people we know in the form of former students or parents of students and other acquaintances. Its a great time to visit and laugh and enjoy people.

We had an incident the other night that brought us closer. We decided to go off the festival location to a restaurant for some food. Here is a little detail that is sort of important - she carries her little purse with a shoulder strap and the purse hangs on her right side, so when we walk, she always walks on my left side, whether we are holding hands or her arm is in mine or we are just walking side by side. As we waited for the crosswalk light to change, a homeless man was walking towards us and he started shouting and stomping. That put Teacher to flight and she wheeled and was ready to bolt. I quickly grabbed her left hand and just pulled her out into the street and we started crossing against the light. Fortunately, the light changed when we were halfway across and we ended up on the other side and then looked back to see that guy headed down the street raving at something only he could see.

After we sort of caught our breath, Teacher said, "Thanks for protecting me. I don't remember the last time someone saved me." That made me pause and I said something like, "Well, I was just getting us out of a weird situation." Later we talked quite a bit about how she really appreciates that I treat her well and how it reminds her of a story my Austrian daughter-in-law told about my son making sure that he always walks nearest to the traffic when they walk down the street. I guess my sons saw me treat their mother in the same way - not over protective, just making sure that she was safe - and they do the same thing. Teacher also said that she is just realizing that for the first time in over a decade, she trusts who she is with. That makes me feel really good. I told her that she just keeps giving me more reasons to smile.

She also said she had to tell me something. A man she dated occasionally 5 or 6 years ago has been contacting her and trying to get something going with her. She kept politely putting him off but finally called him and told him that she was with someone really nice and just wanted to continue with me and "see where this journey goes." She then reminded him of the reasons they quit dating and how she felt that he treated her less than respectfully. Right there she gave me another reason to smile.

After I uncovered my XW's infidelity and up to and through the attempted reconciliation and divorce and recovery, I spent a lot of time journal writing as I tried to process the upending of my life. It just became a habit. I've continued to write as I sold the family home and ultimately moved into my new home, but not as much. This month I got my writing desk set up in my new home and as I unpacked some boxes of writing stuff, I went through a couple of old journals and read some of my thoughts as I went from being in infidelity into freedom. I've been writing more since I set up the desk.

As I looked back at the older journals as well as look at some of the things I've been writing lately, a common theme is to just live life being kind. I worried a bit that "protecting" the people that are important to me might be considered overbearing by some, but then I realized that being kind can be protecting, chivalrous, funny, loving and helpful as well as just being a good way to live life.

I think I'll keep doing that.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 5:17 PM, Sunday, September 25th]

CD, reading your posts gives me a reason to smile.

Quick update. Teacher is still teaching and I am retired, so we have a bit of a conundrum about schedules. When I was still teaching, we were the same kind of tired and stressed during the week. Now, I'm not as tired and stressed, but she is.

So, we are still primarily talking during the week and doing stuff together on weekends. Tonight we went out to a local farm store and had supper (or is it dinner?) and listened to one of our favorite local bands and I saw a couple of former students and we had a nice visit. Then we stopped at another place to listen to more live local music and had a really nice time talking to the wife of the performer who I became friends with prior to the pandemic shutdown. Teacher and I sat at a corner table and she pointed out that it was just about a year ago that we decided that we would only see each other. Made me smile again as I wasn't sure she remembered that, but her FB profile picture is one that I took of her with the mountain aspens showing color a year ago.

After, I drove her home and we agreed that sleep was likely the best thing for the evening, so we just had a careful hug and kiss or two and I headed home. Our habit is to always send a quick text letting the other know that I made it home safely after the daunting 10 minute drive. The other always responds with a quick emoji and then we can get to bed.

I was sworn in as a volunteer for CASA - Court Appointed Special Advocate for children - yesterday, so my volunteer career is starting. I spoke with my coordinator after the ceremony and we made a plan to review the case on Tuesday. Might cut into my music time, but that's quite alright. Just have to make sure and protect my mountain bike time!

Teacher got after me today.

She texted me early (for her on a weekend which means about 9). I was out on my mountain bike for a single track ride, but I had my phone with me so when I stopped for a breather, I saw the message and responded and told her I was out riding on the trails. That was fine and dandy. I ended up riding about 20 miles and had a great time without falling even once! But, I have to admit that it made me feel good that she told me she wanted to see me and she sent me some sort of kissy emoji which gave me quite thrill (as I catching my breath after surviving the Keyhole Canyon trail). You've gotta get your thrills where you can at this age and I'm sure that the heart pumping adrenalin from not crashing helped enhance the smile on my face!

She had a few chores and errands to take care of so the morning and afternoon and early evening progressed. Then she called me and asked what I was doing. I told her I had taken a shower and was just relaxing on a nice Sunday afternoon and had turned off football on the tv. She asked if I had eaten supper. I admitted that I hadn't. I suggested that I could grab some stuff to cook and come to her house and we could cook. She demurred and then decided that she would just come over to my house and we could cook.

So she did and we did. She brought the fixings for a salad. We had the intimacy of wielding knives and chopping and slicing next to each other and laughing and having her make fun of me for my dislike of raw tomatoes - I'm convinced those things are poison (tomatoes are from the nightshade family) or at least that raw tomatoes make me gag after 58 years of trying to eat those gross and slimey things. You all realize that everyone who ate tomatoes during the dark ages is now dead! I'm going to avoid them out of an abundance of caution.

During this very intimate time I belatedly realized that I REALLY need to sharpen my kitchen knives. So I have something to add to my retiree to do list.

I also know that she actually probably came to see my son and they visited and laughed quite a bit - just like they always do. I call myself the '3rd wheel' when they get together.

But, we had a really nice meal and long visit which was really nice. As I walked her out to car, she said, "Well, I wasn't going to let you ignore me on a Sunday!" This was despite the fact that we went out on Friday and spent time Saturday together. We grinned, smooched and she headed home. I wasn't ignoring her! I just had stuff to do!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

What a nice evening.

Teacher and I headed out to check out the fall colors in the mountains today. The aspens were great and I also want to give credit to the willows and the oakbrush as well. We decided early that we would get out and hike, so I picked a trail on the National Forest we hadn't done before and we drove on up to it.

We parked where the signs told us to and then walked down the road toward the trailhead and the campground. I noticed a pickup at the campground, but really thought nothing of it. As we walked closer, I thought that it might be Adventure Girl. Sure enough it was. We had not seen or spoken to each other in well over a year. Teacher has not seen or spoken to her for longer than that. As we approached them, I simply reached out and waved. AG did a double take and then gave a smile and hearty greeting. We walked over closer and stopped and talked for a few minutes. It was nice to see AG's mother and pass on condolences for the loss of her father this summer and to meet AG's newer male friend. They were loading up backpacks for an overnight camping hike.

As Teacher and I walked away down the trail, I realized that I felt nothing toward AG other than some fond memories. Teacher asked it was awkward or weird and I said honestly that it wasn't. I asked her the same question and she responded the same way. I told Teacher that the last conversation I had with AG ended with a hope that we would be "friendly" in the future, but likely not friends. We hiked on and put the encounter behind us.

Anyways, the hike turned out fantastic. We didn't hike too hard or too far, but took plenty of pictures of the leaves and rocks and the canyon and the little creek we hiked alongside. This was the first hike I've taken while wearing my new hearing aids and I continually stopped to just listen. Normal hikes and walks close to home are so darn windy that all I can hear is the wind but since I knew we were going into a canyon, I thought I would keep them in. It was really neat to hear the trickling water and birds and even our footsteps. We laughed as both of us stumbled quite a bit on a pretty rocky trail and decided the hike would be a success if neither of us fell down.

We found a nice stopping point a few miles in and found a giant rock to sit on and looked at the scenery and had a light snack and a little smooch. While we were sitting, AG's boyfriend's dog came up and greeted us and begged for snacks, but we didn't think trail-mix and bananas were her thing. She left after a few minutes and we sat for a few more then headed back UPHILL to the start of the trail. Not much more than 4 1/2 miles, but we had a great time. Teacher even saw a bird that she had never seen - Steller's Jay - and that was neat.

We had about an hour to drive back and enjoyed each other's company and stopped on the side of the highway to take photos of the rising full moon and Jupiter. Back to her house and little Molly and we decided to run out and grab a bite and come back and watch a movie or something. As an older couple, we can now buy a single entree and split it and both of us are pretty full - not too full for 'dessert" though and we certainly enjoyed that likely more than frozen yogurt...

We try to sleep in the same bed, but dozing isn't the same as restful sleep, so I journeyed the 10 minutes home and am ready to crawl into my own bed. Tomorrow we are headed to the Garden of the Gods for a motor-less Sunday bike ride with likely hundreds of others. Don't worry, I'll use protection via padded tights and a helmet.

Great update- love to read about your adventures.

Teacher's school is less than a mile from my house. But it is the end of the marking period, so she is pretty busy. She texted me this morning that she had some tamales and wondered if I might make some green chili to go along with them. She really likes my cooking and really loves the way I make green chili, so of course I said I would. We've noticed and commented that at her house, we primarily go out to eat but at my house, I cook. I'm not a great chef, but I can cook what I like really well and apparently, she likes it too.

She dropped by after school and we had a nice time with several long hugs and smooching before my son got home from work. We dished up the food and sat and enjoyed the spicy stuff and had a nice visit on a variety of topics. When my son got home, he sat and visited with us for quite a while. It was really nice.

She's going to be pretty much tied up tomorrow and I am putting in a new kitchen sink at my house, so we left things somewhat open for tomorrow night. Saturday and Sunday I'm driving north to see an old college friend and to sing at her church. I invited Teacher to come along and she just might, but we'll have to see if she gets her grades done.

Oh and back to last weekend. I posted previously that we hiked and then were going on a bike ride the next day. The bike ride was a lot of fun and we were both pretty tired from riding on actual hills. But, during the drive back, we talked more about the ends of our first marriages. We both had some pretty good "gallows" humor regarding how things ended for me. You may recall that my XW discovered/decided/recognized that she was gay. I told teacher that the only problem my marriage had was that both partners liked girls.

She said,"Well, your ex is pretty, I wonder why she would would pick someone who isn't attractive for her new partner like she did." We laughed at that one since I agreed with that thought and then had a hilarious conversation about what we thought was attractive about women. It was sort of surreal. As I described what I thought was most attractive, I realized I was describing all of the attributes of Teacher - smart, funny, sarcastic, very pretty and has the most amazing body. Did I mention that she was a gymnast and swimmer in high school and college? Yes, she's kept in pretty good shape

She smiled a lot. That made me smile too.

This weekend I visited an old college friend at her church and played and sang 8 or 10 songs for their services. It was great fun, but Teacher and I admitted that it was tough missing a weekend together. We did have coffee and later dinner and TV time on Friday, but were regretting not having two days to just do stuff. She texted me several times during my drive to my friend's church and just kept reminding me that she missed me. The drive gave me a few nostalgic moments as I passed by places I saw so many years ago.

The singing and playing went very well at my old friend's church. I went to college up there 40 years ago, so saw several people I knew and recognized several "kids" (now adults) that were from my old college classmates and at least 1 friend I hadn't seen in probably 20 years (who of course immediately asked about my younger and more handsome younger brother!)

After the drive back to our town and before I went to my house, I stopped at Teacher's house for a short visit. She told me, "I tried really hard, for a long time, not to like you. I think I failed at that and just moved on to loving you." She went on to say that she always feels better when we were together. Then we had some laughs about the early times of this relationship as we both remembered some times about a year ago when she tried to pull away and I kept moving forward and when I tried to pull away and she kept moving forward. She talked about a bluegrass band coming into town next month and how when we saw them very early in 2022, that was when she knew she had to give up trying to stop trying to not like me.

We agreed that even with the few hiccups and self-protection walls we both put up, we just kept coming back together, with little pressure and how easily intimacy developed over time. She has school tomorrow or I'm sure I would still be at her house tonight. I'm retired, so no alarm clock, but she has to answer hers.

I never really expected to have something like this happen. It's been a wonderful adventure.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 4:28 AM, Monday, October 17th]

I missed seeing your latest update...but it is so awesome to read it . I am very HAPPY for y'all!!!

Thank you wtb!

I did a thing today. While I was driving to the grocery store - which by the way, as a retired guy, is really nice to go grocery shopping at 10 a.m. with the other seniors - I had a thought that I wanted to get something nice for Teacher. We've been talking about how nice our fall leaves in our city have looked and she said it reminded her of Vermont since we seem to have had more reds and oranges than normal. So, I thought I might find some flowers for her that echoed those colors.

Well, the store had a nice pot of colorful mums of red, orange, yellow and purple. So I bought them. Her school is on the way back to my house, so I just drove on over there and carried this nice little pot into the school. The secretary got a giant grin when I came in and told her that this was a delivery for Ms. Teacher. She said I could take them back, but I said I was sure that she wasn't at lunch so didn't want to disturb her class and told her that she could have them delivered later.

I headed on home with a smile on my face. Maybe half an hour later, Teacher sent me a text telling me that she was sorry, but she seemed to have a secret admirer and then related the total chaos that ensued with her 4th graders as they tried to figure out who sent those flowers. They decided it must be the school secretary being her secret pal since she delivered flowers earlier in the year from the same secret admirer.

After school Teacher came to my house to say hi and then told me how the secretary made a big deal out of the personal delivery of the flowers at a staff meeting at the end of the day. Teacher said she just smiled and was congratulated by her teaching colleagues.

I'm remembering how to be romantic. Made me smile again.

Aww shaa...that warmed this Cajun's heart!! Very romantic gesture !!!

Last night we went to a birthday party for the husband of my former sister-in-law. SIL and I have remained friends after her and my brother divorced over 20 years ago. It was fun, but sort of awkward since we only knew SIL, her husband and her father. We enjoyed meeting new people and sharing laughs. Teacher is really good at making small talk and she soon had the contact numbers of several of the ladies there. I also made a couple of new friends as it is easy for rural people to find common ground to talk about. Growing up ranching and spending a career around agricultural folk helps.

The cool part was the drive home. We live in a city so have lots of lights that tend to blot out the night sky. The party was about 35 miles away and there is a 20+ mile stretch between the cities where it is dark! I found a nice spot to pull off on a county road and we got out and looked at the billions of stars above. I don't believe she had seen the Milky Way in years so it was neat to see her reaction. It was pretty cold so we only stayed out for a few minutes. She's a tiny little thing so she grabbed my big chore coat I keep in the back seat during the winter. She looked adorable in that giant thing.

We ended the evening with some couch snuggle time and laughed at her little 13 year old dog having a mad case of the zoomies when we got there. We had a little smooching time and then we headed off to our respective beds with plans to do something active today.

I think you both are very lucky to have found each other and know the value of nurturing a relationship.

Thank you for sharing such sweet moments. You bring hope and a little sunshine to my day.

We're getting ready to fly away for the wedding of a couple of friends this weekend. We'll be gone for 5 days and are a little nervous about this next level of traveling together since its a little more involved than a weekend away like we've done before. Lots of little details to take care of over the next few days of packing. But we will be ready. This will be the first time she uses her passport and I'll add to the tiny collection of visas in mine. We fly out relatively early on Wednesday, so are driving to my parents' home on Tuesday and they'll take us to the airport so we don't have to pay for parking or leave in the early early early morning from our town.

Our weekend was a little jumbly. I had my booster shot and flu shot late last week and simply felt like I had been run over by a truck (not that I've ever been run over by a truck so really have no idea how that would feel) for part of the weekend. Her car was giving her trouble, so she had to take it in for service and then get a loaner from the dealership so we didn't get as much time together as we wanted. We did, however, have a couple of meals together and plenty of time for visiting and laughing and playing with her little dog. It's so nice to have someone just to talk to about the day and the world and to share stories.

She shared that she felt like our relationship started to "gel" last Thanksgiving when she came along with my son and I to my family's get together and when I went to a "Friendsgiving" with her - the friends are the ones getting married this weekend. Up to that point, both of us were sort of staying '1 foot in and 1 foot out' and not really sure what we wanted and both of us at times tried to sort of break it off, but we kept coming back together and well, here we are.

We just returned from a 5 day trip to Mexico. We went for the wedding of some friends and made many new friends while there. We had such a wonderful time and enjoyed every minute of our "vacation" even if we came home exhausted! Snorkeling, great food, lots of laughter and love with the wedding party and just overall fantastic.

I mentioned in my previous post that we were both a little nervous about the trip. She was more nervous than I was since she has never traveled internationally. She worried about things like traffic and despite my assurances that we would be okay, she was worried about rush hour. She has been to my parent's house before but sort of blotted out the reality that they live in a small town about an hour from the airport and that they knew the back way to get there without traffic and since we've not flown since the pandemic came around we weren't sure about security and time needed we planned to arrive early. Well, after a great night's sleep and a good breakfast, the drive to the airport was a piece of cake and we ended up waiting over 2 hours after security for the flight. Lesson learned that day.

Customs in Mexico was a breeze and then the party started with 5 days of fun ahead. The wedding turned out wonderfully and was in a beautiful location. Touring and shopping and sailing and swimming in the warm Caribbean Sea was so much fun. Intimacy was over and beyond anything we've had so far - you really get to know someone when you share a room for several nights in a row. She even politely asked if I minded if she put on her makeup while I showered in the large bathroom that was bigger than either of our living rooms! I said something like, "Well, if I come out of the shower naked and you get any ideas... " She did, but we weren't late to any events!

Nerves for her started kicking in as we began to prepare for the return. I made sure and get over to the lobby and get our bill settled and details ironed out for the shuttle. She wanted to sleep in a bit, so I tried quietly to leave the room and go walk the beach, but apparently she woke up after I left (guess I wasn't as quiet as thought). She texted me to check out the sunrise just as I was taking a picture of it from the beach. Anyway, when I got back to the room, she was agitated that we needed more time to check out. I tried to calmly explain to her that I had everything taken care of and that we should go have breakfast.

She grudgingly agreed and we headed down for breakfast. It was fantastic, as always. Then I reminded her that the bellman would be there at 9:30 to get our luggage and we had a 15 minute golf cart ride to meet the shuttle. She fussed about that for a bit, but we waited and packed and repacked and repacked and arranged the luggage. The bellman showed up at precisely 9:30 and 15 minutes later we were waiting for the shuttle. She said, "You've never give me a reason to not trust you about anything. You proved it again." Made me smile.

I had a low key birthday yesterday. Teacher came over to make some copies for her retirement planning and then asked me if I could bring my ladder over later and change a light bulb for her. I loaded the ladder right then.

Later my son got home from work and gave me his gift - a really nice light winter jacket. Then we headed over to
Teacher's to change the light bulb and then off for a steak dinner. She gave me some warm socks, a tea strainer thing and a very nice and flirty card and a Barnes and Noble gift card.

The steak dinner was lovely and we spent a lot of time laughing. She and my son have developed a really fun relationship with sarcasm and humor that I just love to see. Plus, of course, she arranged with the waitress to bring me ice cream and singing for the birthday.

We dropped my son off at home then headed to her house for a bit of together time. We both ended up with a cold after the trip to Mexico and are still recovering, so cut the evening a bit short after cuddling and smooching just a bit. She's headed to her sister's and niece's for Thanksgiving and my son and I are headed for my family's gathering as well, so we made loose plans to do something on Friday when we are all back in town.

Today I'm going to take a long bike ride when it warms up.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!