Topic is Sleeping.
deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 4:38 AM on Sunday, November 28th, 2021
Guy is moving in with us. We live close and have essentially been sharing homes for quite some time. I had wanted to take it super slow and have done so. I also still don’t want to get married. I don’t think that part will change. That part is broken. He’s still patient about that and does not pressure me. I’m excited and scared to death. Is that even normal? I second guess everything now after the crap I went through. I am ready for living together, he’s a good man. It’s right and relaxing. I am just unsure if I know what I’m doing in life.
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 3:38 PM on Sunday, November 28th, 2021
Congratulations!
Yes, being scared is normal.
Just don't Wallpaper over (make excuses for) any red flag behaviors.
Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.
deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 9:15 PM on Sunday, November 28th, 2021
I’ve never seen anything with him to suggest a red flag so I’m hopeful, but forever cautious. Thank you for the reassurance.
[This message edited by deena04 at 1:42 AM, Monday, November 29th]
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 4:05 PM on Monday, November 29th, 2021
So happy for you, Deena!!
Just go be happy with Guy - you don't have to be married to live your best life with your best friend. 
Sending hugs!
Lala
Me-58 FWH-60 Married 40 years 9/2/2023 grown daughters-40&36.14yo GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); 12yo GD & 7yo GD(DD36). D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 6:12 PM on Monday, November 29th, 2021
I have a pretty similar story. I officially moved in with my GF a year ago in July/August, but I did so mostly for financial reasons. I was spending way more money than I was making due to a combination of factors. I still pay the GF "rent" but it's way less than I was paying to rent my own place.
And... she's now pressuring me to get married, which I don't want to do. Most of it is just 'old wounds' from my bad marriage/divorce (~90%), but some of it is related to the relationship too.
Me: Crap, I'm 50 years old. D-Day: August 30, 2016. Two years of false reconciliation. Divorce final: Feb 1, 2021. Re-married: December 3, 2022.
deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 3:30 AM on Tuesday, November 30th, 2021
Barcher, I’m not getting married either. I’m sorry you are being pressured. So far, I fear it, but he says he gets it. The one thing I refuse to do is be pressured into giving in. We should make a deal to remind each other of that.
Lala, thanks. He is my best friend. That is a fact!
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:26 AM on Tuesday, November 30th, 2021
Congratulations! This is big and scary, but also happy news!
And I totally get you on the marriage thing. Zero desire for that.
deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 2:06 AM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021
Thank you! Marriage is a deal breaker for me right now. I just hope he always gets me the way he has these years.
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
deena04 (original poster member #41741) posted at 4:48 AM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021
Side note: he finished moving his things today. He is renting his house to his son. He owns it so that works. I was not ready for him to just sell it… Baby steps. The sidenote part is that I was happy today with him finishing moving in. This just also happens to be the d-day from my ex eight years ago. It did not even occur to me until just now at 10:45 PM that it was the old D-day. This day used to suck and give me heavy anxiety and now it was just happy and I didn’t even think about it. I took this day back and didn’t even realize it.
Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.
Topic is Sleeping.
