I don't want to think of anything like this as an excuse. I think it is why I'm resistant to it.
Or, let's flip this around, not knowing could be the excuse. If you don't have specific information about the obstacles you need to overcome, then you don't know where and how to start. Then all you do is shrug listlessly and wait for a motivational lightning bolt to hit you.
I do feel they are errors I made, but in reality they are errors I still make and make a lot of the time.
Yup yup yup. This is me, too. Wayward thinking encompasses a lot more than cheating. Cheating is, in fact, usually just a symptom. I don't mean to minimize the gravity of the offense in saying that, but it's one manifestation of a total broken package that includes lying, compartmentalization, conflict avoidance, entitlement, self-justification, and seeking validation to offset self-doubt. We continue along in those grooves we've worn even if we end the affair. If you don't break down those behaviors and follow them back to their roots, then all you've really done is learn that the juice of the A isn't worth the squeeze. You don't develop empathy or become a healthier person that way.
I've focused on the things I feel I'm doing right and only focus on the negative when this is pointed out to me.
Also relatable. I've described this as "At least I" syndrome. In my case, it was "at least I confessed, at least I ended the affair voluntarily, at least I only had sex once, at least I stopped lying." It's bad enough that I wanted some kind of medal for that, but even worse, I hadn't actually earned it. All of those accolades were massive fucking whoppers I told myself. I confessed but seriously minimized the extent of the PA/EA. I refused to go NC and traumatized my BH with months of ongoing "just friends" contact. I defined "sex" in my head to an incredibly narrow window that excused weeks of interactions that went right up to the edge of the line. And the last one, the lying -- I was actively engaged in massive trickle truth even as I patted myself on the back for my honesty. The only "at least I" that was accurate was that I never cheated again, but my BH was nonetheless still married to a wayward. I hadn't given him honesty and agency, and there are many people on this site who would argue that the affair didn't end until I did that.
I wanted to have quick answers which would get this mess over and done with.
That's very common, too. But you're still here, which is much less common, and I find that very encouraging.
Also, I will try not to post something which has already been said and try and pass this off as my own.
None of us invented the wheel here. My personal journey is mine, and the way I convey what I've learned is specific to my own circumstances, but a lot of what I write is distilled from what other WS taught me. Don't feel like you should apologize for doing the same. We need to keep passing down the torch.