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Newest Member: ConstantlyConfused

Divorce/Separation :
Divorced and it's the best thing that's happened to me!

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Gixxer1998 (original poster new member #77284) posted at 1:05 AM on Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

Ok so it's been quite sometime since I've posted anything and this may be long winded but I feel like sharing. So it's been a while but some may remember my story. To recap my wife of 10 years had been cheating on me with 15 plus men for 2 years. Needless to say when I found out I literally felt as though I had lost my entire life. After trying to push through the sea of lies and shit to somehow salvage what might be left, she just could not change. So I kicked her out and we started the process of disolution. She became increasingly mean and nasty tried taking one of my kids from me and just continuously said terrible vile things to me and about me. This took a big toll on my mental state for a long time. She threw everything in the book at me wishing death upon me and whoever I got with next. After months of letting her say and do awful things I started recording and taking screenshots of texts as proof should I have to fight her in court. I continued on my path of healing and taking care of myself. Almost religiously I practiced self-care and it has paid off ten fold. 2 months after our disolution I can say dropping that person from my life has been the biggest benefit to my health ever. I got the house physical custody of all the kids and all my finances were left intact to me. I'm currently dating an old friend that I've known for 15 years and I couldn't be happier. I know to each his own and not everyone is the same but I can with 100 percent certainty say that I will always recommend divorce after infidelity. There is just no way to fully repair all the things that break once it's discovered. I come back here after almost a year because I want to say thank you! To all the amazing people here that helped me through this ordeal. There are a couple things that I will always remember that really stuck with me and hit home. One of which was a story of a man whos therapist had him do an exercise where he drew a circle and put the things he loved the most close to the center. When he did he was asked where are you? He said that he laughed at such a silly question because he considered himself the circle when in fact he should have been right at the center. Many others have given me a lot to think about and such good advice. Currently I'm down 140 pounds, I'm with someone who truly makes me happy every day, my kids are healthy and believe it or not aside from having to deal with their mother they're happy and love my new girlfriend. All of which make my heart feel very full! There's so much more I could say but I'll keep it short thank you... Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my posts. Thank you to everyone who messaged me. Thank you to all those who supported me. This has been hands down the hardest thing I've ever gone through and I came out the other side a better man. The love I have for this forum is immense! All those going through it trust and believe me worry about and take care of yourself and you too will come out on top! Thanks for reading.

And if it's ok I'll just grab my shit and leave
I won't say one word
I'll keep my tricks up my sleeve
Flew off of the handle
You opened fire on me
Put me down, put me out of misery
I'm fatally yours

posts: 30   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2021   ·   location: Ohio
id 8736695
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ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 5:40 AM on Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

Congratulations. This might not have been the outcome you first wanted, but it does sound like things have come out truly good for you. Well done! smile

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10

posts: 7073   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8736735
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 9:06 AM on Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

I’m glad you & kids are doing well. smile

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14184   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8736754
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papoula ( member #39079) posted at 11:59 AM on Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

Thank you for coming back and sharing your update. Stories like yours give us so much hope.

I agree with you that continue a relationship after infidelity is impossible for some people.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8736768
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DailyGratitude ( member #79494) posted at 12:52 PM on Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

Thank you for giving us the update
I love hearing stories like yours
They give me a glimmer of hope when all hope seems lost
Wishing you continued joy and love in your life

Me: BW mid 50’sHim: WH late 50’sMarrried 25 yearsDday: EA 2002 PA 9/2021Divorce 10/2021 (per wh’s request) WH left to be with AP

posts: 314   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2021   ·   location: Connecticut
id 8736775
Topic is Sleeping.
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