BrokenAngel,
You sound like a very loving and caring Mother and wife. But please, take a very good care of yourself, don't allow your WH to manipulate you. Start valuing yourself for all your positive virtues and personality. Make sure you don't allow him to walk over you, this is exactly what he does and will continue doing. As you wrote:
hard lesson learned
Gently, what exactly did you learn from this relationship?
This time I told him we were over. I told him I could not be with a man who took me for granted.
Once again, gently, and ...YOU stayed. Is he in IC? Is he willing do work very very hard to fix his brokenness and emptiness? By the way, you should consider that IC may not even work and be prepared for this outcome.
he apologized asked for another chance and swears he will never do it again.
What he says is IRRELEVANT! Please go back to previous paragraph. He may even act for some time as faithful husband, but his thought pattern, character, who he really is won't change.
however he is well aware that if it occurs again I am done.
This is irrelevant to him. He already went thru the time once of you catching him in his deceit, lies , disrespect, and irresponsible behavior towards his family and YOU. And he would be able either to hide his behavior even better or manipulate you again as he did this time. He is a master manipulator. You just need to see him for who he is.
You will eventually realize that his behavior is sort of an addiction.
Now I try to at least workout to give myself some me time and get my pre-baby body back.
Great thing to feel good, gain self-confidence, strength. This might become part of your healing process too. BUT, do this for YOU, not to please your WH. Because your looks don't really matter to him beyond maybe some level. Real Marriage is not about great looks and perfect sexual skills. It is about growing / becoming the best version of oneself, learning together, learning from each other with respect, love, care, willing to sacrifice.
I feel I care too much. I wear my heart on my sleeve which is my biggest weakness.
Great point as you identified and know your weakness. The IC can help you to find the ways to make this positive quality your strength without being walked over and manipulated, taken for granted. Another thing you can learn is to see thru people for who they really are and identify "danger". We all at one point or another lived in our own little world of fantasy.
You are young, and loving, caring person. May sound cliche, but you deserve better.
[This message edited by TruthIsPower at 2:11 PM, Monday, October 31st]