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Newest Member: PurelyPhysical

New Beginnings :
I guess it's safe to update

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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:21 AM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2024

I hope you're able to move on and not be triggered. Just be the best version of you that you can be.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8850607
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 5:49 PM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2024

Thanks for the concern. It's been 8ish months ths since we split, so I've had quite some time to process. It's more of a curious detail than a trigger for me.

Though if I'm being honest, both experiences post S and D have left a sour taste in my mouth when it comes to relationships. I think I'm kind of done in that department.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1865   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8850658
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:14 AM on Thursday, October 10th, 2024

I've been having a lot of fun being on my own. I guess I don't really care if I'm alone or with a couple or group. It doesn't define me.

If I find a person who fits in, that's fine. If not, I'll be ok being alone.

Hang in there, JSG.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8850686
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 11:10 PM on Sunday, November 3rd, 2024

Hey everybody! Just thought I'd post an update. I think I'm using this thread as a journal of sorts. It began with getting my own place almost two years ago and as I'm approaching December, I'm feeling a little reflective.

No word on the exGF to date, though she has reblocked me on FB again. Her public profile. Not sure why she's toggling the switch, but it's a free country.

Still have my lonely days, but they are transitory,so I let them wash over me knowing they will pass. I'm getting more accustomed to being alone, and truth be told, my trust issues would make it a challenge to let anyone I dont know very well, past my defenses.

On that note,my colleague and I eat lunch together pretty regularly. She struggles financially as a single mom, so I try to buy groceries in bulk and then pass on the extra to her, claiming I bought too much. And to be honest,I cannot eat 10 pounds of beets before they go bad.

I buggered my knee and so I'm having trouble walking. The doc thinks I strained my MCL or have a torn meniscus. Just waiting on an xray appointment. Having free Healthcare is good, but sometimes the wait can be long. There is a shortage of radiology techs in this area. I guess the cost of living keeps them away.

My hard kambucha is going well. I've been experimenting with various fruit infusions on the final bottling. My favourite is pinapple-blueberry so far. I'm going to start exploring Persian cooking this season. Bought some saffron and am ordering skewers to make lamb kabobs. Kids are looking forward to some new dishes, as am I.

So that's my update. Hope everyone is well. Cheers...

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1865   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8852949
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:49 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2024

Sorry you hurt your knee. I hope it isn't something that will require surgery to heal.

Your xGF sounds like it's good that she's an ex. I'm F, and I have no idea why she would block/unblock and flip around.

Glad the lunches with your colleague are going well. You are very kind in buying extra and asking for help. I will do that, too. When I was around families with lots of kids, I'd buy extra school supplies and ask if they needed some. They were just laying around the house and I'd appreciate if they could take them off my hands.

Persian food sounds amazing. We have a Mediterranean restaurant nearby, and I was inspired to cook with za'tar and sumac. I even found an on-line recipe for schwarma seasoning. I haven't been brave enough to try lamb, but I'm getting there. I also want to try to cook Osso Bucco.

Interesting, I would never have thought of making hard kambucha but your infusions sounds good. You'll have to share some of your other favorites as you find them.

Great update!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8853042
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 3:27 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2024

And now I'm unblocked....again.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1865   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8853672
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:02 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2024

SMH. Just no figuring some people out.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3895   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8853674
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RocketRaccoon ( member #54620) posted at 5:55 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2024

And now I'm unblocked....again.

Why don't you block her instead? This will then set you free of any possible manipulations.

You cannot cure stupid

posts: 1175   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2016   ·   location: South East Asia
id 8853677
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 5:49 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2024

Yes, blocking her is can option, but I guess I just want to see how this narrative unfolds. I'm at the indifferent stage, so there's really no risk on my end. I guess there's also a part of me that would like to get the rest of the story for my AAR. I guess it's a bit like needing a timeline as a BS.

On a personal note, things are fine on my end. The friendship between my colleague and I is going well. We lunch together mostvdays and a few others have started joining us. She even baked my muffins last week. They were very much appreciated.

This amount of social interaction seems about the right level for me as my social/emotional battery 🔋 has been depleted by the end of the day, and I crave being home and alone or with my kids.

I'm getting to a place where loneliness is not as much of an issue, though it pops up occasionally, like arthritis after a rain, but mostly I am content. It feels very much like I felt before I met the EXGF. Wasn't looking, wasn't interested. Just liked being a peace.

Speaking of peace, I am very excited about the cooler weather and fireplace season. The kids are doing the majority of Christmas with me once again, so that's a plus. I'll start decorating the place at the end of the month and my home should have a nice warm feeling for the winter.

So that's my update. I write these more for me than anything else, but maybe somebody finds it helpful to see what the other side of the journey might look like.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1865   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8854070
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 9:45 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2024

JSG

Please know you have at least one fan here. I for one enjoy reading your updates, especially the mundane ones. A drama free life is often elusive but happily embraced when it comes your way. Especially in cases where one is put through the infidelity wringer.

Please keep updating us!

Me -FWS

posts: 2126   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8854085
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 2:16 AM on Monday, November 18th, 2024

Leafields

Persian Food…
Just the thought of it makes me hungry.


JSG
When I finally left exwh I realized the world is a big place with billions of people. Certainly in a world that big there are friends or more who would faithfully enjoy your company.

I hope you enjoy the holiday season. The decorations sound nice. And the fire cozy.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1789   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8854150
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