SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi, it's been a while. I last posted that I felt like I was falling apart, but since that time, I think I've started to turn a corner. It hasn't even been two months since DDay, but with each passing day it has been getting a little bit better.
I had really been struggling with no contact, but I steeled myself, and I'm proud to say I have NOT caved in.
What's truly helping is a coaching program I joined in late March, and one of the things that they teach is decluttering. Physical, mental, and digital. I still have pictures of him on my phone, and I'm not ready to delete them altogether, but what I will do is get a thumbdrive, download those pictures and videos to this, and wipe them from my phone. I will put the thumbdrive away out of reach, or maybe give it to someone I trust to keep it, and allow myself the time to decide if somewhere down the road I want to keep them, or get rid of them. Physical decluttering-I'm making a pile of things of his to bring to the Rescue Mission. Mental decluttering is more challenging, but I'm constantly practicing. I'm doing daily meditations and occasional nighttime hypnosis right before I fall asleep.
The counselor I saw a few times did end up ghosting me, but I decided I don't need him. I talk to my psychiatrist every week and he checks in to make sure I have enough medications, and if needed, he would change something. I don't think I need to change anything, though.
I'm eating better, staying hydrated, and sleeping much better at night.
I realize it's still going to take a long time to fully heal, and I know there will be triggers that may catch me by surprise and it may appear I'm going backwards(the rollercoaster ride is real), but the things I am doing to help myself are proving to be tremendously life-saving.
Looking back on this relationship, I am 100% convinced I was entangled with a covert narcissist. The betrayal, the lying, and the cheating was NOT my fault. When I am ready to be out there again and start dating, I now have a wealth of knowledge about the narcissistic abuse cycle and how to catch the red flags quickly. Or-if I don't find my person(but I think I will : ) ), I am truly learning the most important person to love, and that is me.

Good for you!! Stronger day by day. {hugs}

BrainyBird!

You just made my heart so happy. I was so worried about you a few weeks ago and now look at you. I’m so glad you are feeling stronger by the day. Getting those photos off your phone so that they are not at your fingertips all the time is such an amazing first step. You are so strong!
I hope you’ll keep posting.

That is a great updates!

Happy for you. You survived! No more games! Don't look back. Just keep going forward every day.

Great news. Thanks so much for posting, it’s really helpful and inspirational for others earlier in their journeys to realise there are corners on the way to turn that they can’t see currently. 😊

Thanks for your words of encouragement, everyone.😊
This weekend I will admit I had a lot of "down" moments(the rainy weather didn’t help), but I no longer have those overwhelming, panicky, loss of control feelings.
I am getting back into hobbies I love, like knitting and crocheting(another form of meditation-plus, if you’re concentrating on a difficult pattern, it’s near impossible to focus on anything else), and reading.
I’m dabbling in MeetUp activities too.
The next thing I will do, but not right away to avoid being overwhelmed, is re-join a gym I used to belong to, where I was starting to get to know new people.
I will continue to post here to let you know my progress.

Wow.....this was inspirational to read! I am so very happy that you are doing better. It gives me hope.

I have been spiraling and have many more bad days then good. It has been 3 months since DD and its still as fresh as day 1. I was probably angrier day 1 then now. So many triggers. So much loneliness. So many mind movies. So much anxiety and tears.

However, this post was a much needed read. Everyone on here is so supportive. We are all at different stages. It is comforting when I read that people are moving on. I try to take inspiration from all the posts.

I hope everyday continues to improve and you stay on this happier path.