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Newest Member: subtlysanguine

Reconciliation :
It’s been 5-1/2 years since dday..

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Marlita (original poster member #72286) posted at 7:48 AM on Monday, October 23rd, 2023

Still married, not happily…just coasting along.
The arguments have pretty much ended, but our communication about anything other than life’s basic day to day, has pretty much dissipated.
No sex for me, in months….not that I don’t want it or need it, but he’s a complete turn off to me!
For some reason, I feel like something better will come along or I’ll get some kind of "sign" of better things to come.
I’ve never been so "Betwixed", however I feel if I continue to coast along, and be patient, then maybe something will happen…a sign, an answer…something…

So lost here…

posts: 120   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2019   ·   location: Usa
id 8812509
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 9:01 AM on Wednesday, October 25th, 2023

It’s almost 4 years and you are just existing in a marriage that is mediocre at best.

Is this really how you want to live?

I think you have "signs" but you are just satisfied with the status quo do you are overlooking them.

I hope you choose to make some positive changes (not saying to D) that being you joy.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14307   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8812739
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Fof9303 ( member #70433) posted at 1:12 AM on Thursday, October 26th, 2023

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I know the reconciliation is not always smooth sailing. Do you both want reconciliation? What have the two of you done recently to try to work on your marriage? Sometimes you need to be intentional about making it work or switching things up. I am 12 years out and it took some work, but just like any marriage now we have to work at it. We are getting new hobbies and checking in with one another.. We have to put the work in... I know it is so hard but it has been quite some time for you so you both might need some drastic changes... Counseling again, take walks together, snuggle on the couch, pick up a new hobby, pickleball, game night.. etc... It might be time for a new perspective for both of you. Hope tomorrow looks brighter for you. God Bless.

posts: 183   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2019
id 8812837
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 2:30 AM on Thursday, October 26th, 2023

Maybe your sign is you're not happy,for years, and it's time to end the marriage.

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6819   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8812845
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:24 PM on Thursday, October 26th, 2023

Marlita, what if your H decides to D. You're giving him time to get his ducks into a row, to hide assets - You're giving him the initiative. It's better to seize the initiative for yourself.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30556   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8812912
Topic is Sleeping.
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