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Newest Member: Comedyisnojoke

Divorce/Separation :
Maybe this is the beginning of his Karma

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Mari104 (original poster member #63422) posted at 9:59 PM on Tuesday, November 21st, 2023

Hi everyone! Hope you are all doing well smile So, back in June, I posted about how my XWH had finally gotten the promotion he had desperately wanted for years. He became GM of a brand new dealership for his company. It wasn't the car brand he always wanted to manage, but it was a GM position. Well.....last week, a friend of mine whose husband still happens to work for the same company heard a rumor that he had been fired. This week, it was confirmed. My SIL went onto the car dealership website and he was removed as GM and replaced by a younger female. Someone he has known for years and also worked for the same company. My SIL also looked on every website for their other 3 dealerships and he is nowhere to be found. His Linkedin profile shows his GM position from May 2023 - November 2023. So there it is. He pushed everyone, including his own children, to the side for his career. Finally gets the position he has been wanting since the age of 16 and less than a year later...it ends.

So many things are going through my head. In a way, I am sad for him. He really devoted so much to this company. Worked endless hours. Worked weekends. Somewhere along the way, had an affair and walked out on this family for her. If anyone recalls my story, the OW worked for the same company, in their accounting department. They bought a house last year in September and got engaged over this past summer. He has yet to tell anyone in his family about the engagement. We found out because the controller of his company AKA one of his "flying monkey's" and the OW's boss, happened to be bad mouthing me to her hair stylist last month. Another story for another day. And yes....neither of my children have ever even met the OW. neither has his parents or anyone in his family. How a father can get engaged to someone his children have not even met is beyond me. duh

But here we are. He now needs to start from scratch. He was with the same company since he was 16. They were bought out in 2016 by the company he was currently working for. This is all he has ever known. I am sure this was a blow to his ego and that may be why he has not even mentioned anything to me yet or anyone for that matter. His parents, brother, SIL....mutual friends. No one. He may also be trying to figure out what to do. But our children's health insurance is under his policy and obviously, there is alimony and child support to consider. He always leaves me in the dark about everything. We always find everything out through outside sources. Transparency is just not his thing. I deserve to know what is going on so I can prepare for what may be ahead. It is unfair for me to always be caught off guard by him. I am just tired of this all.

Aside from all of this, I am left really wondering what in the world lead to his termination. It could be so many things. Maybe he was making too much money. I have heard that many of the employees would complain about his arrogance and how he would talk down to people. Maybe it was because he was too good of friends with the company controller and that put him in favorable position to manipulate the finances of the new dealership he was running. He also is engaged and living with a woman who he had a workplace affair with, who also happens to work for their accounting department. So I am sure they were always making sure he looked his best on the books. But the owners may have not liked that. Maybe it was something else all together. I am sure I will find out once word gets around. I still know a number of people that work there.

What has me even more perplexed is how I am sure so many people knew this was coming and he apparently didn't know. People that managed the dealership with him were people he had trained and were supposedly his good friends and also the OW's. The woman that took his place was his friend and the OW's. His assistant manager was their friend. I am sure the OW also feels betrayed. And now...he will need to start somewhere else. Somewhere separate from her. They will need to find a way to trust each other without working for the same company. He will be working unexpected hours and they will need to trust each other. (Which is something he admitted to me he will always have issues with. Especially if they did not work together.) laugh Their perfect little lives are about to change. Welcome to reality.

[This message edited by Mari104 at 2:33 AM, Wednesday, November 22nd]

posts: 179   ·   registered: Apr. 12th, 2018
id 8815906
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Forks027 ( member #59996) posted at 11:38 PM on Tuesday, November 21st, 2023

Well well well, time to bust out the popcorn and watch the fireworks grin

As curious as it may be though, try not to delve too deep into the reasons for his termination. If anything, he probably treated that job like he treats his relationships: wanting all of the benefits with none of the effort

posts: 556   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2017
id 8815918
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 12:25 AM on Wednesday, November 22nd, 2023

An unremorseful, unchanged WS such as your WH can fool some of the people, but he can never outrun himself. His own selfishness, arrogance, and deceitful nature will always be there. I am sorry to read the impact that his failings have on you and your children. But it is good that you are no longer tied to him. Based on what you have shared about his abusive, selfish behavior over the years, I am not surprised in the least that this happened. And I can guarantee you, that he will blame everyone else for it, never himself. Good luck.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3944   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8815925
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PinkJeepLady ( member #37575) posted at 3:39 AM on Wednesday, November 22nd, 2023

As curious as it may be though, try not to delve too deep into the reasons for his termination. If anything, he probably treated that job like he treats his relationships: wanting all of the benefits with none of the effort

I think this is good advice. Will we ever know the "why" to so many things? I am sorry you have to hear all this drama, ugh!

I am just beginning the D process and am bracing for the unpleasantness to come. I go from wishing him well and bon voyage to wishing him the worst possible (you know what I mean!).

Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled - thought so, but now divorcing

posts: 786   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012   ·   location: Out West
id 8815938
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CometGirl ( member #56179) posted at 1:07 PM on Monday, November 27th, 2023

He needs to contact you since your children’s health insurance could be affected! Glad karma is coming his way.

posts: 105   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2016
id 8816384
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childofcheater ( member #33887) posted at 4:55 PM on Monday, November 27th, 2023

Wow Mari! As happy as I am to hear about the karma tsunami for your WH I hate that it creates stress for you too. Well he can run away and be selfish all he likes but he's still the same person so not surprising he's getting some just desserts.

I hope that you and your children are doing well!

Me: 42 yo, him 41Married 19 years together 233 kids: DD15, DD12, DS9DDay 2/9/12 found suspicious text to coworkerStatus: in R, work in progress

posts: 582   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011   ·   location: East Coast
id 8816399
Topic is Sleeping.
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