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Newest Member: subtlysanguine

Reconciliation :
I give you a Christmas gift

Topic is Sleeping.
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 MySolstice (original poster new member #84273) posted at 12:47 PM on Saturday, December 23rd, 2023

I was where you are 11 years ago. Hurt, rejected, hopeful, struggling to keep my life, struggling not to be divorced. But part of what I was doing was in reaction to the rejection. If I could only love harder, forgive harder, make him love me, I’d be worthy of the love that had been ripped from me. If only he would try harder. But what I totally forgot to ask was if the relationship was really worth the heartache and pain of trying to keep it together. I kept reading books on affairs and reconciliation, books about improving relationships. My gift to you is a different book: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. This isn’t a book about affairs. It is a book that helps you weigh out what was working and not working before the affair. The author gives you a series of questions and then lets you know for people in this situation who stayed, several years in the future they were happy or they were unhappy, or the opposite, people in this situation who left, several years in the future were happy or were regretful. It is a wonderful tool for dealing with the ambivalence and putting some clarity into your feelings.

Him cheater, me imperfect human and wife/exwife. Four kids together, married 22 years, affair at 16 years, 6 years of struggling to put it back together, divorced 11 years now.

posts: 15   ·   registered: Dec. 20th, 2023
id 8819267
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MegMeg ( member #79978) posted at 7:35 PM on Sunday, December 24th, 2023

Thank you! Merry Christmas.

Me: BS | Him: WS | Children: Grown | Married: 36 years at DDay Feb 2021

posts: 106   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2022   ·   location: Pulling myself out of the mire
id 8819349
Topic is Sleeping.
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